


Gray and Purple

by Yoruko_Yamirai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Deviation From Canon, F/M, Fem!karkat - Freeform, Genderbending, Rule 63, genderbender, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6172507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoruko_Yamirai/pseuds/Yoruko_Yamirai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's obvious that Gamzee cares about Karkat. But how would things change if Karkat were a girl? The result is a protective Gamzee who refuses to let ANYTHING separate him from Karkat, not even his Mirthful Messiahs or blackrom. And in the end, that just might be the push needed to survive Lord English's and the Condesce's manipulation of events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gray and Purple

Gray and Purple

Gamzee and Karkat had been very close for a very long time. Since before any of their friends had even realized that she was a girl, in fact. They were best friends. Most of their friends knew that, but overestimated how quickly it had happened. Contrary to popular belief it was Sollux who’d been firmly placed in the ‘best friend’ realm first, soon after the psionic-baring troll had befriended Karkat in fact. Karkat’s friendship with Gamzee, however, had steadily built up over a period of time to the ‘best friend’ stage. Everyone who the purple blooded troll interacted with or flat out befriended assumed that he would be quick to declare someone his best friend but that wasn’t as true as expected. He had been very young, just barely capable of caring for himself and handling the school-feeding that didn’t require a lusus when Goatdad abandoned him, and he only ever saw his custodian at a rate that varied from every few perigrees to only once or twice a sweep. And it had only taken a couple of sweeps to figure out that the few trolls that didn’t abandon him or flat out run away on sight would keep him at an arm’s length or treat him like he wasn’t capable of proper interaction with another troll. Karkat had been different from the start- she was angry partially on Gamzee’s behalf that his lusus of all beings was a non-presence in his life and instead of avoiding or tiptoeing around the subject of his sopor slime and faygo or writing him off as either disgusting or stupid Karkat’s typical angry rants on the subject held what Gamzee could see was genuine concern over whether he was taking proper care of himself. But it took a while to convince Gamzee that it wasn’t just a fluke. Karkat Vantas really did care, and she wasn’t about to leave soon anytime soon.

CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

CG: OF COURSE I’M HERE TO STAY YOU DIMWIT. I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING ABANDON YOUR STUPID, PATHETIC ASS. WHO ELSE IS GOING TO MAKE SURE YOUR MORONIC HABITS DON’T KILL YOU.

TC: Ha Ha, WhAtEvEr YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg SaY, bEsT fRiEnD. :o)

CG: WHO THE HELL SAID I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

TC: HoNk. :o)

CG: ... CRAP. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GETTING MSYSELF INTO? YOU BETTER NOT MAKE ME REGRET THIS, I SWEAR TO GOD.

TC: Of CoUrSe, KaRsIs. YoU cAn MoThErFuCkInG cOuNt On It. I wOuLdN’t AlL uP aNd DrEaM oF mAkInG a WiCkEd SiS uP AnD gEt HeR rEgReT oN.

CG: ... FUCK, I’M ALREADY GETTING USED TO YOUR WEIRD AS HELL TYPING QUIRK. I’M DOOMED, I JUST KNOW IT.

TC: MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS, mAn.

After that Karkat was so thankful that that conversation had been held over Trollian and wasn’t one of their rare real-life interactions that were she any other troll she might have considered praying to Gamzee’s Mirthful Messiahs. It was bad enough that her reputation would have been completely and utterly ruined had anyone seen her reaction in person. But she was sure that Gamzee would have wound up finding out about her blood color. Nonetheless, they were as close as trolls who’d only seen each other in person a handful of times and mostly talked over Trollian could be. And by the time it got to the point that Karkat could deny it to others but couldn’t lie to herself, she felt that Gamzee was her responsibility. Everyone else that cared about him were too invested in their hobbies or personal drama to look after his physical well being, and few of them would even think of being concerned with his emotional state. Karkat had seen Gamzee sad before, and it was so pathetic and wrong that it tugged at her vascular pump strings so much her self disgust almost made her feel like gouging her eyes out would be a better option. 

The first time the nature of their relationship changed was after the flarping drama. Tavros was the only troll as close to Gamzee as Karkat was, or almost as close in any case. Nepeta had admitted before that her shipping wall included Karkat and Tavros as options for Gamzee’s red romance quadrants and it was unacknowledged common knowledge amongst the members of their group that Gamzee’s feelings might actually sway that way. However, after Tavros’ own accident which was the start of the chaos there was a noticeable shift in Gamzee’s regard for the pair. And Karkat’s seemingly eternal anger multiplied over what happened to Terezi, Tavros, and Aradia. True, she wasn’t very close to the latter two- she mostly associated with them because of Sollux and Gamzee- and she felt that Tavros partially brought something bad happening to him on himself. And Terezi... even before the accident when there was no doubt that her feelings for the teal blooded girl were platonic their friendship had always been chaotic. But all three were still Karkat’s friends, and she did not approve bad things that severe happening to people she cared about no matter how much it was their own fault. (Nothing could get Karkat to admit that because manipulative and probably untrustworthy or not, the cause of the whole mess or not, she was secretly sort of happy that Vriska had survived Terezi’s brand of justice because she was sort of Karkat’s friend too and there was probably something good about her if she was so close to Terezi before the incident caused a falling out.) 

After that the older Karkat got the more paranoid over someone finding out her blood color she got, and Terezi’s new refusal to drop trying to find out made it worse. Sollux reacting so badly to Aradia’s misfortune so badly the manic side of his bipolar disorder all but disappeared did not help. Factor in hormones from approaching becoming a teenager and therefore the sweeps that would involve beginning the transition into adulthood and sometimes, Karkat’s anger and secret fear got so bad or she freaked out so badly over her friends’ reactions or potential reactions to her typical shouting and insults that Gamzee was literally the only one who could calm her down. By that point Karkat’s and Gamzee’s relationship seemed solidly pale, because he almost never took her insults seriously and she didn’t hesitate to apologize to him on the rare occasion where she accidentally managed to actually hurt his feelings. Sollux could also calm her down, and gain the closest any of her friends who weren’t Gamzee got to an apology when she realized things had gone too far, but it was different. And things changed after Aradia’s accident. Even though she seemed to be okay (as far as anyone knew, not even Tavros had seen her in person since) Sollux was more distant. At first Karkat hadn’t seen a problem, but after Feferi revived Sollux when he didn’t survive getting into the Medium he responded to her messages which at that point consisted of apologies and pleas of ‘PLEASE TELL ME THE FREAKSHOW I’M SEEING MEANS YOU’RE REALLY OKAY!’ with ‘god, calm your rumple 2phere2 kk.’ Then he proceeded to ignore her completely for a week and a half, barely even deigning to respond to messages and memos regarding winning the game.

 

Three days into the silent treatment Karkat lost the battle to be patient and understanding for once and nearly punched a wall only to barely catch herself in time to prevent injuring herself. 

“Fuck! I get the asshole is screwing around in his world and getting used to shit or whatever and protecting the fish princess like she’s his fucking moirail even though she obviously has a flush crush on him. I even get that I act like a bitch and sometimes he just doesn’t want to put up with me. But at least the prick used to have the courtesy to fucking tell me to back off!” she raged, “What the fuck is with the god damn silent treatment?! I thought we were best fucking friends... Did he... did he even mean it when he said we were still friends the day this mess started? I can’t believe I embarrassed myself by crying over the asshat when he doesn’t even care!”

Gamzee, who had yet to return to his world to be productive as he could be when he was always so high it was barely possibly for him to focus on anything, hugged her close. 

“Hush that noise now, best friend. Solbro all up and motherfucking cares about you, he’s just busy.” he soothed, “He’s just all up and wrapping his motherfucking thinkpan around the miracles of this game and making sure fish sis doesn’t all up and get culled. Fefsis is motherfucking strong as hell but she only fights as a last resort. Who the motherfuck knows what could happen to her without help, ya know? Solbro’s still your other best friend, and when things finally motherfucking calm down you’ll all up and see.”

“Whatever just shut the fuck up.” Karkat muttered, “Talking is not fucking helping.”

“Honk.”

But the way she finally returned his hug and buried her face in his shoulder betrayed how much what he said really meant to her. So what if the guy who flipped between being a cocky nuisance and having enough self-confidence issues to rival her own not-quite-secret case of severe self loathing couldn’t be bothered with her? She had a game to win, and ten other friends to keep alive. They had barely started and it was already obvious that this was going to be more complicated than even her new friend Jack had implied. Karkat knew all of that, and that would be the gist of what she would say on the matter, but Gamzee wasn’t fooled. Karkat cared about her friends more than most trolls even ever cared for their casual or just less serious quadrant partners. Sollux was one of a mere handful of their friends who understood that Karkat was more than a really ambitious girl with an anger problem and made it obvious that despite her flaws he still valued her friendship and she was terrified of losing that.

Weeks passed. Once the previously mentioned week and a half had happened Sollux finally started talking to Karkat again, sporadic though their conversations were. Partially as a not as secret as he might like apology, they traded captchalogue modes. After Eridan attacked him he may or may not have fled to Karkat’s world for a break. They may or may not have had the sort of moment neither was willing to speak of to others. Gamzee spent more time doing no one knew what on his planet and hanging out with whoever would accept his company. Terezi had begun blatantly flirting with Karkat, and she was starting to be receptive to it. And the friendlier turn in their friendship only messed up Karkat’s perception of things even more. The blind girl could fit in any one of her quadrants, and Karkat didn’t know how to feel about that. Regardless of where any feelings she might have would eventually stabilize, she wasn’t even sure that it would work or be worth it if she even wanted to do something about it in the first place. She tried to make her intention of never entering a quadrant with the blind girl clear but whether Terezi understood or not their friendship was stronger than ever. It wasn’t even just due to Gamzee. Karkat was more confused than ever about Sollux, she had no idea whatsoever how to describe her friendship with him, when it wasn’t what strangers mistake for pitch flirting it was like their version of Nepeta and Equius teasing each other or arguing. (Which didn’t even count as arguing most of the time.) Kanaya was the strangest and most confusing because it was like... a platonic version of moirailleigance on one hand and like as close as a troll around your age could get to being like a lusus. And Eridan... if he weren’t a genocidal douche and calmed down, maybe in another timeline they could have been moirails. But none of that mattered much. Getting through the game and keeping everyone alive and cooperating was much more important than the drama and shenanigans that kept distracting them. (Karkat sorely wished her friends would see that and get with the program.)

Then came what should have by all rights been the beginning of the end. By all rights it was a miracle that they managed to kill the black king. As it was even with Vriska’s godtier level and the many Aradiabots’ part in the battle everyone wrote off their victory as either a freak chance or a complete accident. The main reason being that they only won in the first place because Gamzee went mental and unleashed an unbelievably devastating attack on the black king in a burst of using his power as bard of rage for the first and last time. Not one of the eleven others ever noticed or were told that the sight of Karkat injured and the look in her eyes whenever one of the others had a near miss that was far too close for comfort was what sparked the purple blood not only getting angry for possibly the first time in his life but actually doing more than just standing there and watching the others fight. Then came what Karkat initially came to view as the beginning of the end. A mysterious, winged dog-Dersite hybrid with ridiculously strong green powers destroyed the gateway to the new universe and they only escaped because the robotic version of Aradia’s army of doomed fellow Aradiabots managed to buy them enough time to escape when he tried to attack them. Afterwards he moved on to destroying their planets. They had bought themselves the most time any of them thought possible by escaping to a meteor in the Furthest Ring, but most assumed it was only a matter of time until he found them and finished the job.

Karkat was in the middle of sizing up their situation, everyone’s conditions, and what could be done when six plus weeks of not even a second of sleep caught up to her and she collapsed. Gamzee brought her to his horn pile he’d set up in the computer lab everyone had dubbed the recreation block, lounging there with her to discourage the others from disturbing her much needed slumber to solve their personal drama. Said drama merely got worse after she woke up. First, she had belatedly woken up on Prospit only to immediately witness the figure destroying it, her dreamself along with every other Prospit dreamer’s dream self dying as a result. Whatever she experienced after her dream-self’s death was so bad she forbade Prospit dreamers from sleeping at all. Something more personal that she had been willing to reveal was that the killer was Jack Noir, the Dersite she had befriended... or at least another version of him. When Terezi returned from where someone with sight could have actually witnessed Prospit’s demise the drama doubled with the revelation of a session of aliens called humans from the universe they created. The trolls could watch any moment of the players’ lives until shortly before the reckoning of their session. It turned out that the humans’ session was where the Jack who was out to kill everyone was from.

In another timeline, as Gamzee and Karkat would come to agree when they took the time to talk things out later on, discovering the humans was probably the real beginning of the end- or almost end, as was the case for them. Karkat was sure that that was the case in some doomed timeline that might not exist. But that was because the humans seemed to trigger an all-time high for personal drama. Shortly after the first human to enter the medium, a girl named Joan, became the first to reach godtier in fact. Not long after communicating with the humans at that point of their timeline, everything started falling apart. Most of the others left the computer lab, and that was when things started to fall apart. Eridan returned right after Kanaya had a talk with Karkat regarding the matriorb. He implored with Feferi to join him in running off to join the Jack out to kill them in an attempt to survive, regardless of the differences in their feelings. Feferi refused and assumed quadrant shenanigans were involved. The attempt to keep him from being so stupid all eleven remaining members of the group could get killed knocked Sollux unconscious and killed Feferi. Kanaya retrieved her weapon to step in, and then got killed trying to avenge how Eridan destroyed the matriorb. Later, it would be revealed that Vriska killed Tavros when he attacked her. (Whether it was only an attempt to stop her from fighting Jack or if it was also revenge for everything she had pulled on him Karkat never learned.) At the time it only mattered in the sense that there was another killer to beware of, as Karkat had other things to worry about.

Right after that, Gamzee, who had been missing, finally messaged Karkat. But not all was well. Gamzee was sober, wizening up to the true ways of the subjuggulators, and something else seemed wrong besides. If things went wrong, there would be a full on rampage on their hands.

CG: OH GOD, NO. PLEASE NO. GAMZEE PLEASE DON’T FUCKING DO THIS. ERIDAN FLIPPED HIS SHIT. FEFERI AND KANAYA ARE DEAD AND I’M PRETTY SURE SOLLUX IS ALIVE BUT SO LONG AS HE REMAINS UNCONSCIOUS I DON’T HAVE A SINGLE FUCKING WAY TO TELL HOW HE’S DOING. I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE ANYONE ELSE IS.  
CG: THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR THE ONLY BULGE SNIFFING IDIOT WHO LISTENS TO REASON WITHOUT COMPLAINTS OR ARGUMENTS TO GO ON A MURDER SPREE.

TC: DON’T MOTHERFUCKING FRET, KARSIS.  
TC: everything will be exactly as it all up and motherfucking should be.  
TC: HONK :o)

CG: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, GAMZEE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? AT LEAST PICK A TIME I’M NOT ALREADY FREAKING OUT TO HAVE A MELTDOWN!

With nothing else to do, Karkat opened a memo. Past Eridan was willing to hear her out but she blocked him because she was angry and confused, something she realized far too late wasn’t a smart move and could possibly have aggravated the situation even though she tried to be as fair as was possible. Past Gamzee seemed concerned and wanted to help, but Karkat was too scared and freaked out to do more than demand that when he lost his shit he keep calm and try not to do any harm. In the end right before Karkat closed the memo just one person from the present answered- Equius.

CG: DAMN IT EQUIUS THIS ISN’T FUCKING SPACE SHIP SCIENCE. I’M ORDERING YOU TO GET OVER YOUR FETISH FOR THE HEMOSPECTRUM LONG ENOUGH TO RESTRAIN GAMZEE SO HE DOESN’T FUCKING KILL ANYONE AND HE CAN BE DEALT WITH LATER. THAT’S AN ORDER AS YOUR LEADER.

CT: D-> Very well, as you wish. I shall do as commanded.

That was when Terezi checked in with news of Tavros’ death. After a message from some tool who used white text Karkat finally pulled herself together enough to work through her panic instead of standing there uselessly. Upon hearing a honk she gathered Sollux in a spurt of fear and ran off to find somewhere safe. Finally, when dropping Sollux down some stairs helped Karkat calm down enough to find a side room because of her worry over hurting him even more, there was enough time for her to gather her bearings. That was when Sollux woke up, and they discovered that he was blind and finally without the voices of the soon to die.

Despite herself upon the revelation that Sollux was awake and mostly okay besides the eyesight and the loss of his lisp because he lost some teeth when she dropped him down the stairs on accident Karkat pulled him into a hug. “Thank whatever shitty deity might possibly be responsible. I was starting to think that I lost you after all.”

Sollux floundered a little at the unexpected affection, his cheeks burning yellow. “KK, what are you doing...? Are you... trembling?”

“Oh god, I’ve never been so scared and at a loss of what to do. Please let that you’re awake mean things aren’t going completely going to shit after all.” Karkat begged.

“KK? What happened? Where’d fish breath go?” Sollux asked, noting that his inquiries were making her trembling increase, “KARKAT. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Everything’s going to hell in a fucking frilly ass hand basket.” Karkat muttered, “Feferi freaked out when it looked like Eridan managed to kill you and Eridan killed her, then he destroyed the matriorb, then he killed Kanaya when she attacked him for destroying the matriorb. On top of that clusterfuck Gamzee’s flipping his shit and according to Terezi Vriska killed Tavros. Now I keep hearing honking, and I have no way of fucking knowing what’s happening or when the coast is clear.”

Sollux winced at the news. He knew how Karkat’s problem was that no matter how she would probably never admitted her biggest problem, more so even than her temper, was how she cared an unnatural amount for a troll about those close to her even when her feelings were completely platonic. A small yet highly important fact that she would never admit and he’d never seen anyone acknowledge. He sighed mentally; his best friend was such a pain especially when it came to her refusal to be honest with even herself about her feelings. And the way the majority of the others were too stupid to see it and notice how vulnerable she really was did not help, especially if the clown wannabe couldn’t be relied on.

“Jesus, KK... Can you handle anything without me?” he teased, trying to cheer her up or glimpse some of that familiar anger which was preferable to Sollux than to see his best friend seem nearly helpless.

“Sollux, I am so, so sorry. Maybe if I could’ve gotten my head out of my ass and do more than stand and gawk like an idiot I could have done something and you’d still have your sight.” she said.

That was what eliminated his hesitation and drove him to wrap his arms around her, finally returning her embrace. “Don’t be stupid, KK. If a sea dweller’s constitution couldn’t handle whatever the fuck Kanaya used to make that stupid stick so powerful you’d be dead too.”

“Sollux-”

That was when an alert from Trollian interrupted their little moment. Terezi was trolling Karkat. Sollux commandeered the conversation she would have had with Terezi, and she was annoyed that he didn’t even ask her and that she didn’t even get to properly check if their mutual friend was okay. But she thought that maybe it was okay. Then, when she finally got her portable husktop back she was trolled by Gamzee. There was still a part of her that was terrified. But then... he said something that others would have found terrifying which Karkat took as a hint of a light in the dark.

TC: TELL ME, KARSIS.  
TC: will you be able to up and find me and motherfucking stop me?  
TC: HONK. :o)

It wasn’t a threat despite how he’d managed to sound. It was a challenge, Gamzee was half daring her. Perhaps even pale flirting, if she wasn’t totally delusional. He was half asking for help without necessarily realizing it. Later on, another honk sounded. Karkat ran, whether for another hiding spot or to find Gamzee she couldn’t say. Despite her best efforts her hand slipped from Sollux’s and they wound up separated.

On Gamzee’s part, it was both far better than and just as bad as what Karkat had been imagining. Coming down from his high- going through withdrawal, Rose would later call it- was difficult and painful. Things were suddenly very confusing in a different way than he ever felt while on the sopor slime, and it was far easier to focus. But it was also harder to handle his emotions and instincts. Things might not have been quite as bad as they ended up, he fancied, if Dave Strider hadn’t sent him that blasphemous video that sent him into that rage. Perhaps, Gamzee and Karkat would later speculate long into the meteor trip when her problems with the male human triggered his both his own anger and his sorrow and regret regarding what happened all at once and he finally told her that part of the story, Dave hadn’t been purposely trolling Gamzee or trying to bother him, but in fact had had no idea he should take the clown-like troll’s religion and his earnest belief in miracles seriously and therefore honestly expected him to enjoy it. Instead it insulted Gamzee and made him question his faith and everything he believed in. Then he stumbled across a strange puppet named Lil’ Cal, perhaps the same one Dave’s bro had carried in a different outfit Gamzee thought. It spoke in Gamzee’s mind, both egging on his rage and revealing the details and truth behind the juggalos’ prophecy and their more vague or secret beliefs. That was the beginning of the end just as much as Dave enraging Gamzee in the first place.

Granted, there had still been a chance. For a while Lil’ Cal had failed to do more than confuse Gamzee further with all of the voices it forced into his head. But then he decided to troll Dave in the human’s past to try to get revenge. It didn’t work out, it was so far in the past Dave still believed the trolls were making up stories and he didn’t take Gamzee seriously. Instead of being frightened or cowed, anything that would make Dave pay, the human egged him on and then coaxed him into the best slam poetry battle- ‘rap off’ to use the human term- that either had ever heard of. Things went downhill from there.

First, he was wandering when he came across Tavros’ body and Terezi’s glasses. There wasn’t much to go by but it didn’t take someone smart to figure out he’d had a run-in with Vriska that went very badly. His blood pumper felt a little crack, but he tried to hold together. Then he messaged Karkat, whether to subtly let on that he needed help or goad her he would never know, and she freaked out. One memo later Equius, who hadn’t quite seemed to grasp either what she wanted or the gravity of the situation, set out to find him. Gamzee found the high blood supremacist first. The rage and the voices’ demands for blood took over upon Equius’ lack of reaction and he strangled him with the string of his own bow. A part of Gamzee regretted his actions but conceded that given the role Equius would play later on had Gamzee succeeded in controlling himself so early on he would have doomed the timeline. Then Nepeta sprang out from the vent to try and avenge her moirail’s death, and while she did manage to scratch him with her metal claws- or perhaps that was Lil’ Cal or the madness again- she hadn’t stood a chance.

After that he wandered until he came across Vriska and Eridan about to have a showdown. Again the voices egged Gamzee on, and he doubted that he’d have regretted anything if the fight had happened. Eridan caused a great deal of fright and grief with the stunt he pulled when he was last in the computer lab, whether the sea dweller realized it or not he’d messed with Karkat when he pulled that stunt. No one messed with Karkat and got away with it when Gamzee was properly aware. Plus on top of having killed one of his best friends Vriska had always tried to get under his skin, scaring him in his better moments and at other times attempting vehemently to ignite his rage which even Gamzee himself hadn’t known was so dangerous. They were interrupted, however, by Kanaya showing up. She punched Vriska so hard the blue blood fell to the ground, kicked Gamzee in between his legs so that he fell off the ledge, and took her chainsaw and cut Eridan in half.

There wasn’t much more to his misadventures after that. He figured out that Vriska had been serious when she said she planned to fight Jack Noir. Knowing that it would doom the timeline if she was able to leave the meteor to look for the Dersite Gamzee tracked down Terezi. He messed with her a little, partially in revenge for what he considered leading his best friend on when her primary interest had been Karkat’s blood color (first finding it out and then the fact that she had a fetish for bright red) and messing with the Cancer, partially to goad and coax her into finding Vriska in time to stop her. Maybe, he would have conceded if he’d admitted this part properly to Karkat later on and received a scolding, he went too far. But In the end, Terezi was the one who used her Seer of Mind powers when she finally found Vriska and jumped to the conclusion that the only options were kill Vriska or let her give Jack the chance he needed to be able to kill them all. But then the Scourge Sisters had never worked things out after their falling out over Aradia’s death and the injuries they caused each other, and mercy had never been in either girl’s metaphorical dictionary. If she failed to realize she still cared for the spider girl and tried to ignore rather than deal with her grief and regret before it was too late, then it wasn’t Gamzee’s fault that her decision had more far-reaching consequences than just the obvious ones.

Gamzee had known that the situation with Vriska wasn’t the only situation that was coming to a head. So he found Karkat, and wrote a note with his blood using Terezi’s quirk to the best of his ability the same way he’d done with Vriska’s to get Terezi to find Vriska on the roof. After stashing the corpses lying around the building into his sylladex to deal with later, Gamzee headed to the roof himself. Karkat was indeed there. After looking towards Terezi and Vriska’s body in shock she checked out Vriska’s husktop, which was how Gamzee found her. Kanaya had also made her way to the roof with Sollux in tow. That was good, Gamzee supposed. He had the impression that whatever vague reason he had for calling Karkat up to the roof wasn’t supposed to include an audience but he couldn’t even remember why he’d had an urge to get Karkat up there and it was probably best for everyone to be in the same place anyway.

It had already been a hard situation for Karkat. The note hadn’t fooled her; it was in Gamzee’s blood after all and held his new typing quirk just as much as it didn’t properly imitate Terezi’s. She’d known it was Gamzee. She listened to it because she wanted to find him and wanted to know why he’d write something like that at all, let alone while pretending to be Terezi. Then, there was the hemo-pump wrenching confession Vriska made to the human Joan complete with hints of their previous conversation and indeterminate flirting that could be flushed or pale depending on how Joan took it, which was good since the stupid human girl ‘wasn’t a homosexual’ which apparently meant she didn’t like other girls. (Another stupid human concept for Karkat to grouch over, but that was a separate issue.) Telling someone as happy go lucky and innocent as Joan that her new friend she’d been starting to really care for was dead was too painful, in the end Karkat just couldn’t do more than make it clear that Joan wouldn’t be able to talk to Vriska anytime in the near future. 

Then, everyone noticed Gamzee. They tensed at the same time as the voices egging on Gamzee’s rampage amplified in intensity and he started towards them wielding the War Hammer of Zillyhoo. Kanaya and Terezi were ready to try to take him down. Sollux was either being distracted by Lil’ Cal without being influenced by him- how had the little dude gotten all the way over there by himself anyway- or didn’t realize either that he was facing the wrong direction or how tense things were getting. Karkat looked at everyone, clearly having a mental debate with herself. Finally, she made Kanaya and Terezi put their weapons away. Karkat approached Gamzee, but when he met her halfway she didn’t actually try to fight him. 

Instead, she used her sickle to make him get rid of the hammer. “Dammit, Gamzee, what the hell do you think you’re fucking doing?! Enough is enough!”

Lil’ Cal and the other voices tried to intensify their grip. “HONK! Honk. HONK!”

Karkat wasn’t quelled, though, simply brought a finger to her lips and papped him with her other hand. “Shoosh!”

It was soothing, he was so relieved that she hadn’t given up on him and her way of dealing with him made his hemo-pump beat faster than it ever had the diamonds in the air were so palpable. But the same forces that had made things so much worse than they would have been naturally drove his body and rage to fight the calming effect. Yet just like with everything else she dealt with Karkat didn’t sway. She continued to shoosh and pap him, slowly quelling his rage.

“Fuck, calm down already dipshit! You freaked me out but you’re still one of the best parts of my life no matter how much you aggravate or annoy me and I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore or let you hurt them, got it? Everything’s okay, I promise. I’m right here and no matter how mad I end up or how distracted by my own bullshit I get I am never letting you go without a fight that will make Jack look like a fucking wriggler. Now shoosh.” Karkat reassured.

Gamzee’s hemo-pump swelled with the overflow of his previously barely restrained feelings until finally the sclera of his eyes morphed from the red of his heightened rage back to their normal yellow and his head seemed to be clearer than he ever remembered. “K-Kar...kat? What...? I motherfucking know what I’ve all up and done, but it feels like my mind was even foggier than the sopor makes it. I am so, so sorry. A motherfucker never meant to all up and hurt anyone, I swear!”

For once Karkat’s expression was serene. “Does that fucking matter when nothing can be done? You’re fine now, and I’ll make sure it never fucking happens again. What good would I be as a best friend if I can’t even succeed at that?”

“Karsis! I am so motherfucking pale for you; it could all up and put Prospitians’ skin to shame.” Gamzee proclaimed, wrapping his arms around her in the tightest, most heartfelt hug he’d ever given.

Smiling for what felt like the first time to both Gamzee and the onlookers, she hugged him back just as tightly. “The feeling is fucking mutual...”

With that Karkat was able to go back to helping Jade and, eventually, giving Joan instructions about starting up the scratch. Things were going well, question of not being wiped out by the scratch aside. But right as things were getting dicey for the humans as they approached the final stretch, the trolls had to do something themselves. They had to figure out how to survive the scratch. Then, there was a literal light in the dark. Karkat watched from where she was sitting on the floor being used like a plushy by Gamzee as Sollux over exerted himself using his psionics to get the meteor there. He collapsed with his mustard yellow blood beginning to flow from his mouth. Karkat was up and rushing towards Sollux in a flash. 

“Sollux! Please, Sollux, you have to be okay! Come on, say something!” Karkat begged as she held him.

Sollux tried to chuckle but it morphed into a cough. “Always freaking out over little things like a bit of blood, aren’t you KK?”

She scowled, her eyes now tearing up. “Shut the fuck up, nook sniffer! This isn’t some scratch that’s better than the amount of blood implies! Just... please, please don’t die on me again. Don’t... don’t leave me, asshole or not you’re one of my best friends!”

Sollux somehow gathered enough energy to smirk and bring a hand to Karkat’s cheek. “Careful, KK. Get any mushier and I’ll start to get ideas. Besides... it was always inevitable...”

He tried to make a half joking version of a sentimental goodbye, but his body gave out.

Karkat shook his body. “S... Sol? Sollux? Come on, this isn’t fucking funny! Come on, please.... Sollux... please...”

Gamzee came up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Karkat, I know watching Solbro die a second time is motherfucking tearing you up inside, not one motherfucker will give you any trouble over a little motherfucking grief, I’ll up and make sure of that.”

Finally, the red tears flowed freely down Karkat’s face as she barely restrained sobs. The fourth time something horrible had happened to her best friend. The third time she had to watch. The second time he died from it. Quadrants and any feelings she might have been repressing didn’t matter, but if said feelings existed they certainly made the pain that much sharper and vivid. Then, Gamzee and the other girls were pointing something out. Karkat turned her head, and there they were. A godtier and newly alive Aradia Megido accompanied by a half ghost half alive version of Sollux Captor as if they were still on Alternia exploring ruins and abandoned hives. Rose and Dave were with them, also newly godtier.

“Soll... ux...?” Karkat stated, barely able to be heard.

“Geez, KK, were you really crying over my corpse like a wriggler?” Sollux teased.

Karkat rushed at him and after punching him in the shoulder she pulled him into a hug while she finished her now intensified crying session against his shoulder. “You reckless, idiotic fucker...! I don’t give a damn about your fetish for twos or your obsession with doom and your own demise; you’re forgetting that that was the second time I had to watch helplessly while you died! It’s bad enough I was too slow the first time! I thought I lost you, you asshole! Do all these sweeps of being best friends mean nothing, damn it! Besides, who else am I going to rely on to be semi functioning and capable when everyone’s being stupid or reliving their wrigglerhood like responsibility went out of style?”

Under any other circumstances, perhaps literally, Karkat would never be allowed to live down the lapse in her mostly solid control of how she reacted to her emotions. But this was one of her best friends ever, and she had watched him die twice. (She would use this along with every other excuse because anyone that tried to hold it against her was a hypocrite, damn it!) Moreover it was Sollux, and they’d always had an instant bond regardless of how they were getting along. In this case, everyone just watched on or tried to ignore them. Sollux gaped at Karkat in shock for a minute or two, fidgeting in uncertainty, before he finally wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly.

“Sshhh, it’s okay, I’m sorry KK.” he reassured, resting his chin on her shoulder and closing his eyes to cherish the moment, “I’m here, okay? No matter how distant I get you’ll never stop being my best friend.”

Karkat pulled away slightly and looked into Sollux’s eyes searchingly. “You... don’t tell me you’ve found a way to ditch me again?”

“I’m sorry, Karkat, I really am, believe me.” Sollux started, “But I’ve never been more content, and now that Aradia’s alive again... Well, she was my best friend too, and we have time to make up for...”

Karkat shook her head. “No, no.... I... I get it... Just... Just don’t forget me, or lose contact! You hear me? I’d better see you again or I’ll fucking drag your ass back to the meteor by force!”

Sollux chuckled. “Of course, Karkat. It’s not even possible for me to forget about you.”

Karkat buried her face in his shoulder to save just a bit of face; one thing she wouldn’t live down was being caught nearly in tears.

“It’s a promise, got it?” she demanded.

Sollux sighed silently. Possibly partially in secret contentment but mostly in exasperation at how the worst qualities of Alternian society had damaged what he was sure nobody would ever admit was probably one of the most compassionate and charismatic trolls he knew of. Sure, her temper made it almost impossible for most of their friends to notice but whether you were a friend she was close to or a friend she always butted heads with so long as you didn’t betray her trust she would lay down her very life to protect you and if your non dangerous issue was genuinely important she would always, always listen to you and if possible either provide advice, provide assistance, or help you feel better.

“Okay, Karkat. It’s a promithe. No matter what, we’ll thee each other again thomeday.” Sollux swore.

After working out some more details in their end of the plan and a note from Joan delivered in a bucket of all things Sollux and Aradia combined the force of their natural powers to speed the meteor on its way to the location of the humans’ post scratch session. When Karkat stopped freaking out over said bucket enough to read the note she couldn’t suppress an eye twitch. Why did Joan have to point out that clusterfuck? If they kept displays of affection private Karkat might be able to survive two pairs of matesprits making up eighty percent of the options for company but it was still majorly pushing it. Only Gamzee’s random decision that keeping her calm was the perfect excuse to treat her like a plush toy kept her from letting out an audible groan at the thought.

As it turns out, it was worse than Karkat thought. Kanaya and Rose hadn’t even admitted their flushed feelings and they were so attached at the hip and lovey dovey that Karkat could only bear extensive contact with them at random intervals with large periods of time in between. Dave was someone Karkat actively tried to avoid for the first stretch of the journey; he was so insufferable and antagonistic- Karkat swore it was on purpose no matter what Rose or Kanaya said- that Karkat just did not want to deal with him outside of occasions where she had to. Terezi though was worse of all. The blind girl went out of her way to avoid Karkat and barely spent time with anyone who wasn’t Dave or the extra passenger they had picked up everyone dubbed Mayor. Gamzee was practically Karkat’s sole source of company when they weren’t in bubbles and even then he had to be careful because Kanaya hadn’t truly given up on slicing him in half with her chainsaw yet no matter Karkat’s pleads or pointing out that the way Gamzee described his experience implied something fishy was going on.

Don’t misunderstand, Karkat tried to be mature and reasonable about things. She regularly spent small amounts of time with Kanaya and Rose before how sickeningly sweet and oblivious to others they were chased her away. And she tried to talk things out with Terezi. Karkat understood that she had sent mixed signals, missed her chance, and that her inability to settle properly on a quadrant made her a bad match. Maybe if she’d been hatched a male and therefore was even more immature and obstinate she’d have squashed down her attachment to her currently bubble-residing best friend and ruined even her friendship with Terezi by being pushy. But losing Sollux in a sense had made Karkat face the music. Terezi was just her third best friend and if she wanted to save that they needed to talk.

CarcinoGenetecist [CG] began trolling GallowsCallibrator [GC]

CG: FUCKING HELL TEREZI, I DIDN’T WANT TO FUCKING DO THIS. THIS TYPE OF PERONAL SHIT WAS MEANT TO BE SORTED OUT IN PERSON, REGARDLESS OF ISSUES OR MATURITY LEVEL. BUT IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE A FUCKING PUPA AVOIDING NAPTIME I’LL PLAY YOUR DAMN GAME AND HOPE THAT YOU MESSAGE ME BACK EVENTUALLY.

CG: I SCREWED UP, I GET IT. WHEN I WASN’T SENDING MIXED SIGNALS I WAS BEING A SCARED DOUCHE AND DID EVERYTHING BUT OWN UP TO MY FEELINGS AND TRY TO TALK ABOUT WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO CALL WHAT NEARLY HAPPENED BETWEEN US DURING OUR SESSION. YOU GOT TIRED OF MY BULLSHIT AND MOVED ON OR YOU JUST LIKE STRIDER BETTER, PROBABLY BOTH. THAT’S FUCKING FINE, EVEN IF THE WAY I ACT MAKES YOU THINK OTHERWISE.

CG: BUT DAMN IT, TEREZI YOU’RE MY FRIEND AND YOU STILL MEAN A LOT TO ME. WHEN YOU’RE READY TO PUT UP WITH THE SIGHT OF MY FACE COME FIND ME SO WE CAN TALK SHIT OUT.

Karkat let her situation with Terezi remain the same for a couple of perigrees before she got sick of being patient and took action. Left with no other real options, she approached Dave. The mere idea annoyed Karkat but it had to be done.

“Look, Strider. Here’s how it is. I don’t like you, you don’t like me. Platonically.” Karkat started, “I respect that Terezi picked you for her flushed quadrant but she’s my fucking friend and I’ve known her longer than you, damn it. Can you please fucking talk to her and tell her I want to fix our friendship?

Dave raised an eyebrow. “What? Why should I fix your mess?”

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STRIDER, IT’S NOT LIKE I’M COMING ONTO EITHER OF YOU. I JUST WANT MY FUCKING FRIEND TO TALK TO ME.” Karkat raged, then commandeered Rose’s book she was filling with information about the game, “Look, we can make a schedule. If we set specific periods of time to spend with her I can fix my fuck up and we can finally be friends again.”

“What? No, don’t draw another shipping grid.” Dave protested.

Karkat looked at him as if he had grown a second head. “It’s not a fucking shipping grid dumbass; things between me and Terezi are completely platonic. I’m only drawing a time table so we can set a time for me to fix the damage I did to my friendship with her.”  
“No dude, stop. That’s totally messed up! If she doesn’t want to talk to you that’s her fucking choice. Did you ever think she was better off dropping a friendship if the friend was with an asshole like you?” Dave claimed.

Dave grabbed the crayon she was trying to write with. But Karkat refused to let go, and even tried to continue with the time table. If an appointment of sorts was the only way to talk to her friend then so be it. Eventually it got way to out of control. Dave noticed that the scribbled mess they were making of the page the book was turned to resembled human male genitalia, and for some stupid reason got stoked and decided to try to force more to be drawn. Then Karkat got tangled up in Dave’s cape and she couldn’t get free on her own. That was when to Karkat’s embarrassment Terezi walked into the recreation block- or common area, whatever- right as she was shouted for someone to untangle her.

“Karkat? What are you doing?” Terezi asked.

Karkat perked up. “Terezi! Fucking finally! I’ve been trying to talk to you for fucking ever and your dipshit of a flush crush won’t even hear me out!”

Terezi frowned. “Karkat, I... What even is there to say?”

“Terezi, wait a fucking minute and hear me out before you dismiss me and return to acting like I don’t even fucking exist!” Karkat protested frantically, “Look, I screwed up, I was unfair to you, I should have been upfront about my intentions or lack thereof and my inability to decide what I would have wanted if I had wanted to act on what could have been. Whatever the hell your problem is I get it. But I value your friendship and I don’t want said friendship to go to shit because of my issue. Please, don’t make me lose you as a friend.”

Terezi was frowning now. “Look if this is your shitty way of apologizing it’s okay, I forgive you. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m too busy for whatever sort of tantrum I was interrupting.”

With that she ripped the cape away from Karkat, barely managing not to damage it, and dragged Dave off. Probably to go back to expanding Mayor’s special project Can Town. Karkat was watching, expression alarmingly upset rather than its usual grumpy, angry, or neutral state. But tears wouldn’t even come close to falling; she had trained herself to control her expressions and facial reactions too well to crumble so soon or so easily. 

Kanaya moved to approach and console her. “Karkat, are you-”

“I’m fucking fine.” Karkat waved off, turning around to leave the other way, “After every other bit of bullshit we’ve gone through why should one of my best friends giving me the cold shoulder affect me? I did what I could and took the first step in fixing things, if she spurns any other attempts to stay friends it’s not on me if things fall apart.”  
Granted, before Karkat even said that she knew that Kanaya wasn’t so easily fooled or dissuaded. But she wasn’t about to talk about it. Maybe with Gamzee, but he was her moirail so it was different. In fact, he himself was different- Goatdad wasn’t just an absentee lusus, he never even did much for Gamzee the rare times he was around. So Gamzee knew loneliness in a way that could only be surpassed by another mutant. And Tavros had acted like Gamzee’s hinting at flushed feelings never happened the few times he wasn’t distracted by Vriska’s shenanigans. Karkat felt that he was the only one who would both understand and refrain from dismissing her loneliness and fears and how her insecurities combined with others writing off what Karkat saw as problems aggravated what otherwise might have been small or at least easily resolved issues.

Gamzee saw all of this and barely managed to hide his worry from Karkat. He couldn’t let her know how seeing her state when she let her guard down, seeing her fret over things that should never have had a chance to morph into concerns, affected him. Moirailleigance was about balance, he was well within his boundaries and rights to cheer Karkat up and help her with her own emotional and psychological damage. But Gamzee knew he had to be careful of how he did it and how far he went to be best abilities his limited knowledge of quadrants provided. More importantly he had to do something about Terezi. Within the perigrees after Karkat’s argument with Dave, she had started pitch flirting with Gamzee. Maybe he would have gone beyond engaging her in one of what Karkat had referred to as bitch offs in slightly similar situations involving other people in return. He certainly hated Terezi, she’d always messed with him and she had in his opinion led Karkat on knowing full well how confused Karkat tended to get about quadrants and how seriously the Cancer troll took romance.

Eventually giving in, Gamzee spent a few perigrees pitch flirting with Terezi when they were alone. The potential to be kissmesis might even be there, her feelings certainly swung that way. But at the same time he wanted to rub how his drama and issues had ended before he could multiply the casualties of his meltdown while Terezi had killed one of the trolls she cared about most without considering a peaceful method of stopping her. And of course he might have pointed out the issues with how Terezi used (or occasionally failed to use) her powers and the problems with the replacement for proper vision the justice obsessed girl reveled and took pride in. And he could never be sure because quadrants were confusing, but Gamzee’s hate for Terezi.... he wasn’t properly certain that they fit any of the pitch relationships in Karkat’s novels and movies. Then again Karkat herself was an issue with the subject, wasn’t she? It was true that Karkat’s crush on Terezi was a thing of the past but she still cherished her friendship with her and Gamzee didn’t know if Karkat would ever forgive him if he screwed up and went too far. And Gamzee could never bring himself to hurt the girl he’d been determined to help and protect since before his head was even clear enough to coherently put a finger on such feelings and desires.

A sweep into the journey came the most important discovery. The Sgrub session Gamzee and Karkat had played with their ten friends was a post scratch session the same as the human session they were headed to. And the players in that session were alternate versions of the trolls’ ancestors whom Karkat had never believed in. Not only that but they were teenagers descended from the pre scratch versions of the trolls who had played the post scratch session. Karkat didn’t seem to think much of any of the ones she talked to. She nearly hated her own dancestor. (As the pre scratch troll players were called.) Gamzee certainly didn’t know what he thought of his own ‘dancestor’ Kurloz. After an accident that left his former matesprit deaf the other subjuggulator had broken up with the girl, chewed out his own tongue, and sewed it shut. Or so the story went, Gamzee had doubts about the ‘former matesprit’ claim. Sollux’ dancestor’s story was too full of unknowns and there were small things that didn’t match. More importantly no matter how much Kurloz cherished his friends and quadrants- and Gamzee knew he did, it was clear in the way he ‘talked’ about Meulin and Mituna- the Messiahs came first for him to a startling extent. Kurloz even used his chucklevoodoos to control Meulin in his quest to keep the secrecy. The thought of putting Karkat through such things left such a bad taste in Gamzee’s mouth it surpassed the foul feeling of the withdrawal from sopor slime.

The meteor traveled through that group of interconnected bubbles for a while after they were introduced to the dancestors and had things explained to him. Karkat informed him once they final left those bubbles that a few tentative plans had apparently been formed to help deal with things from the bubbles. She also complained that to her annoyance and disgust the only one she remotely got along with and found to not be a lame wimp- Karkat’s regard of Beforus proved similar to her opinion on Earth- was Feferi’s dancestor, who Karkat summed up her rather colorful description as a greedy antihero. And she was upset because a couple times she thought she may have spotted Sollux, but he hadn’t noticed her if it was him.

That was when Terezi approached him for a serious talk rather than to start an argument or try to entice him into accepting a pitch relationship with her. “Makara you need to get your faygo stained ass in gear and do your job as a moirail!”

“What the motherfuck are you talking about?” Gamzee asked, “You finally try to talk to Karsis and get spurned?”

“She did try to cheer me up when thinking about an offer someone made me but that’s beside the point.” Terezi waved off, “Apparently she’s been talking to Meenah Peixes. Apparently she said that if Meenah ever succeeds in building an army to fight Lord English she’ll consider ditching the meteor the next time it physically passes through a dream bubble to join said army!”

Gamzee snapped to attention, dread filling him at the thought of the best thing in his life fighting the being it had been claimed he had very little choice about serving. “Say what now?”

“Apparently,” she bit out sharply, “Since Kanaya and Rose rarely separate and I’m always with Dave and the Mayor Karkat feels either unwelcome or unneeded. Or she’s feeling inadequate as a leader.”

Gamzee stood up, he had to talk to Karkat and do a little digging afterwards. “Thanks for up and letting a brother know. In return I’ll give you some advice: back the fuck off. I don’t rightly know if my hate is pitch or not, but even if it is I can’t risk betraying my diamond sis’s trust like that.”

When Gamzee found her, she was sleeping in his horn pile. With her guard lowered during her rest, she looked so sad and alone if you didn’t write off her expression as grumpy and paid attention. Gamzee crawled out of the vents. After spending awhile just standing there and watching her sleep he sat down on the floor by her and gently brushed her cheek, sweeping away a strand of hair that was tickling her nose in the process. Eventually Karkat’s expression gave way to something close to a smile. When she finally woke up her ‘just woke up’ version of her typical grumpy expression gave way to relief and delight.

“Gamzee! Where the fucking hell have you been?!” Karkat complained.

“I’m up and all kinds of sorry, sis. I won’t up and willingly leave you by your lonesome so long again.” Gamzee apologized, “Now what’s wrong? I ain’t ever seen you up and look so distressed when you’re getting your motherfucking sleep on.”

Karkat sighed. “I... don’t know. Maybe I’m lonely; maybe I’m worried about the future... Maybe it’s because something’s been wrong with Terezi ever since you two have gotten closer.”

At the last bit Karkat looked at Gamzee accusingly. He visibly winced. But then he looked her in the eye and decided to just be honest.

“About that... I’m not up and certain I’ve done right when we’ve let our hate get the best of us, but I swear nothing pitch happened Karkat.” Gamzee promised, “Sure she’s been coming onto me and I may have flirted back a little but I don’t know enough about quadrants to know what kind of hate I got going on for the dragon sis and even if it were pitch I couldn’t up and betray you like that! I even done and finally turned her down right proper.”

Karkat sighed. “It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just happy you admitted it. It was thinking you were keeping your pitch relationship a secret that bothered me not that you would’ve been dating the girl I used to like.”

Gamzee hugged her. “You have no idea how happy I am that this didn’t hurt our moirailleigance none!”

Karkat startled a little but hugged back, mostly used to Gamzee’s affection after over a sweep as moirails. “Just remember that you’re the only thing making this shitty trip tolerable, got it?”

Gamzee perked up. “Speaking of were you up and having a good dream? It must have been all kinds of miraculous if I could tell you were cheering up in real life.”

Karkat sputtered and blushed. “Jesus fuck, how damn long were you sitting there while I slept? It was just the bubbles, not a proper dream... Only, Sollux was there.”

Gamzee grinned. “That really is all kinds of miraculous.”

Karkat’s blush deepened, but she didn’t want to risk the impromptu feelings jam with denial or a lie. “It... was nice, I guess. The fucker had his head out of his ass enough to show me around the more interesting parts of the bubble. And he caught me up on the quadrant shenanigans and drama being alive kept me from being privy to.”

“You got to get your fill of romance on with someone besides this motherfucker for once? That must’ve been nice.” Gamzee encouraged.

“It wasn’t exactly a date even if it sort of felt like one if that’s what you mean... Besides the asshole refused when I asked if he would come back to the meteor.” Karkat replied, “But if you’re talking about my taste in movies and literature it was pretty nice to have someone who wasn’t you, Kanaya, or Eridan indulge me.”

“What’s that noise about Eribro?” Gamzee asked.

Karkat sighed. “He’s always been a genocidal asshole but before the game and his preoccupation with killing the occupants of his planet and recovering from Feferi’s rejection we used to gossip about quadrants and try to give each other advice all the time. I think I was the only one he flirted pale rather than concupiscent with after his breakup with her.”

Gamzee’s grip tightened. “Well too bad for him, you’re mine.”

Karkat laughed and ruffled the hair on the back of his head a little. “I promise you don’t have to be jealous, he’s never been my type in any quadrant.”

Gamzee hid his face in Karkat’s hair and took some time to cherish his moment with his moirail. He cared about her so much. He couldn’t risk her getting hurt or leave her to be lonely. It didn’t matter what the puppet he met after Dave pissed him off and the clear head a lack of sopor gave him taught him about his religion. There had to be a way to twist fulfilling his role without giving up the best thing to ever happen to him. It looked like he needed to have a little talk with Kurloz; he needed to have his dancestor schoolfeed him more about the truth of things.

“I want to talk, and I need you to up and keep an open mind you hear me motherfucker?” Gamzee said when he approached Kurloz the first opportunity he could.

“As you motherfucking wish. What do you want?” Kurloz signed.  
“I need you to up and tell me more of the shit about subjuggulators you need more than the motherfucking internet to learn about.” Gamzee explained, “See, I’ve been thinking ever since the chainsaw sis’ flush crush talked about human religion. From what I hear most religions have options, and I need to find one that’ll let me be true to my faith and role and still be able to protect my fiery moirail.”

“What do you motherfucking mean?” Kurloz asked, his signing faster than normal, “I thought what needs to be done is pretty motherfucking clear.”

“Motherfucker, I said to keep an open mind.” Gamzee growled, “I’ve already done and screwed up twice, I’m lucky Karkat forgave me. We’re fast approaching a time that’s up and vital for everyone and every motherfucking thing, and she needs me more than ever. Everybody is so motherfucking preoccupied with their own shit that whether they realize it or not they’re isolating the one person what can up and make them work to do what needs to be done without anymore motherfuckers dying. I won’t up and abandon her when I need to be there for her and protect her the motherfucking most.”

“That’s... You know how shit is meant to go down, what we’re motherfucking duty bound by our faith to do.” Kurloz pointed out.

“Motherfuckering listen! Try to put it into perspective this way if you’re going to be too damn stubborn to cooperate. Put yourself in my motherfucking shoes. Whenever it was that your own moirail needed you most, or that ex of yours needed you most, what you have done?” Gamzee countered.

What ensued was a conversation that was eye opening for both of the Makaras. Kurloz, it turns out, had never let himself truly open up to those he became emotionally attached to. And due to his distance, he never became privy to the information that was traded when a big group of the players gathered. Vaguely aware of the plans, yes, but not the ultimate goals or why Lord English was deemed enough of a threat for all the residents to amass. He’d known the nearly demonic being was homicidal- thus the ‘Angel of Double Death’ moniker, but not that his destruction would take down every universe he reached if left unchecked. Gamzee, more importantly, learned what little Kurloz did know about the ‘bubble quests’ as the meteor group had dubbed them. One of those quests along with Kurloz’ extra information about their religion gave Gamzee exactly just enough to start off. And as it turns out- time players’ time traveling devices could bring more than one person.

When barely a perigree later the moment Gamzee had come that he had dreaded for the first two years of the meteor’s journey- nearly a sweep, but perhaps not quite- he didn’t do quite as he’d originally been supposed to. He still had to leave, still needed to set the stage. But he didn’t have to cut ties or go alone. And so it was with a hopeful rather than a heavy hemo-pumper that Gamzee approached his moirail to have a long overdue chat.

“Karsis, do have up and have time for a motherfucking chat?” Gamzee asked.  
Karkat snorted. “Of course I do, stupid clown. There’s nothing but spare time here. There’s so much fucking time rabid ass monkeys die a vastly inglorious death without ever finding a single pathetic fool to fall victim to their wimpy ass teeth or their rancid fecal matter. The rotting corpses were so far out of the way that by the time they were found the remains consisted entirely of bones.”

Gamzee chuckled. “Best friend, you come up with the most imaginative and interesting insults a motherfucker ever did come across. But seriously, though, this is pretty motherfucking important. I probably shoulda up and told you all of this when I first calmed down from my rage fit but telling anything at all anytime is breaking the motherfucking rules as it is. Just... please, Karkat, try to keep your righteous fury low key and hear a brother out.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “This seems pretty fucking important... Okay, I’m listening. I give no guarantees about how angry I get or how I act on it but I’ll hear you out to the end before making any judgments.”

“See, I’ve made mention of the mirthful messiahs. They’re the motherfuckers subjuggulators up and worship.” Gamzee started, “The thing is since we’ve been stuck on this here meteor I’ve up and discovered that even if they’re not proper gods or anything the messiahs are real. And whether it’s shitty luck or destiny, I have a role I don’t completely up and have a choice in playing.”

“Okay, your clown gods or whatever they are happen to be real. With everything else that’s happened since this game started I’ll keep an open mind. But get to the fucking point. What are you trying to say?” Karkat prompted.

“I have to leave. There are things I’m motherfucking supposed to set up. Huge events that are up and supposed to be set in motion. The thing is I don’t up and motherfucking go about this the way I was supposed to.” Gamzee elaborated, “But before I explain or do anything... Please, Karkat, will you come with me? You don’t even have to stay, I’ll bring you back to the meteor if you up and motherfucking want. Just please, my beautiful, fiery pale sister let me show you. I don’t plan on every abandoning you and I swear you’ll have an easier time getting your understand on if you come with me.”

Karkat looked at his face searchingly, and then sighed “You... you’re serious, aren’t you? The shit sponges here need someone to keep the boulders they call heads straight so I really won’t be able to stay there long. But you’re my moirail, and I’m proud you came to me instead of dealing with whatever heavy shit you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in yourself. So I’ll go with you.”

Gamzee gave that wide grin that should have been weird and disconcerting and then pulled Karkat into a hug, nearly crushing her with the force he was using. “Oh thank you, best friend! Praise the stars, no dark carnival or miracle would’ve ever been right without you by my side.”

Karkat patted Gamzee’s back to reassure and sooth him. 

“I’m the one who owes you thanks, moron. Anyone else would have forgotten all about me or ditched my worthless ass. In fact, most people have for all intents and purposes and I don’t blame any of them no matter how bitter I might or might not be.” she replied, “I don’t know what I did for serendipity or fate or whatever giving me even one person who would have feelings for me strong enough to want me in a quadrant, let alone be willing to put up with my shitty attitude in the first place, but if any of the miracles you used to rave about are real- this here is the best one.”

“Now you motherfucking cut that unmirthful noise now best friend.” Gamzee reprimanded, “You kept a big group of kids from all over the hemospectrum working together and made them work pass their drama enough to defeat the motherfucking black king. You befriended a motherfucking Dersite who normally would’ve up and tried to kill you but instead helped make it much easier to get rid of the black queen than it up and should’ve been. When I was all up and in a rage you got close enough to me to calm my motherfucking ass down without getting a single scratch on you. You’re a beautiful, fiery troll with more passion than you up and know what to do with and you can up and bring yourself to feel compassion for motherfuckers what you barely know or never met. Never, ever doubt yourself.”

If the laugh that elicited was closer to a sob, Gamzee didn’t call Karkat out on it. “... Thank you, Gamzee.”

Gamzee used time travel to bring Karkat to what seemed to be a post apocalyptic Earth in the universe they would create, centuries or millennia after all flora and fauna that had inhabited the planet had died out. There didn’t even appear to be any water to be found. After some exploring they found a large cocoon of some sort right in time for whatever was in it to emerge. Whatever alien had just ‘hatched’, it had green skin, the head vaguely resembled a skull, and its cheeks each had a green swirl. Gamzee picked it up with the usual grin he sported when he was actual happy or just in a good mood and not just wearing a grin out of habit. The different perspective let Karkat see that it had green eyes. It nuzzled into Gamzee’s shoulder, and was actually... pretty cute, despite the assumptions one normally made about creatures that looked like that. Karkat also had a vague notion that it might be a girl. With a yawn it closed its eyes... and opened them right away. Only its eyes and cheek swirls were red suddenly, and it bit Gamzee’s shoulder.

Karkat immediately flicked it on its ridiculously hard forehead. “No biting! Fuck, what is up with this thing?”

Gamzee chuckled. “Vriska’s dancestor up and told you about these aliens, remember? They’re a cherub, or more like two cherubs temporarily sharing one body.”

Karkat looked at it in dawning horror as realization set it. “Fuck, you have got to be kidding me... No, you aren’t joking, are you?”

“The male side of this little adorable motherfucker becomes Lord English the Angel of Double Death... Karkat, meet the mirthful messiahs.” Gamzee introduced.

“You’re kidding right? The green eyed one was pretty fucking cute but this is a little terror!” Karkat protested, “Crabdad says I only did things like bite others if I was mad! Hell, before I found out the truth about my blood color... Wait a minute, this is one freaky coincidence.”

Gamzee looked at Karkat, his confusion obvious. “Karsis, what the motherfuck are you all up and saying?”

Karkat didn’t face away or look down but her eyes darted to the side to avoid eye contact, her cheeks were even tinged a shade somewhere between red and pink from a rising blush. “Before I discovered my blood color made me a mutant and what it meant for me... hell, before I started having trouble controlling my anger... Well, if Crabdad was to be believed I was kind of like a rambunctious version of the green eyed side. The red eyed side is reminiscent of what I’ve been like since, only I have better control and I try not to physically hurt people who haven’t earned my wrath.”

Gamzee chuckled. “You must’ve up and must’ve been the most adorable little motherfucker what up and came outta the caverns.”

Karkat’s blush deepened. “Shut up...”

Gamzee’s grin toned down to the brighter one reserved exclusively for her. “Ah, no need to up and be embarrassed my wicked pale sis.”

Karkat shook her head in amusement, not-so-secretly pleased by how much her moirail thought of her. “On another note we should probably get serious here, we need to talk about this.”

Gamzee pried the wandering portion of his attention away from the cherub in his arms. “What’s wrong, Karsis?”

“Look, after all of my fuck ups and the way some of them proved essential for things to go right in the long run nobody knows we can’t prevent Lord English from even happening more than me.” Karkat pointed out, “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. Can’t you find his sister- you know, the older version of the green eyed half who seems like she’ll actually grow up to be tolerable and help her instead? Or just pretend to work for Lord English so you can sabotage him and set the stage for her ghost to take him down once she’s found in the bubbles?”

Gamzee rushed to close the distance between him and Karkat so he could twirl her around as he laughed, the cherub squashed between them due to his lack of thinking things through. “Karsis, you’re a motherfucking genius!”

“Fuck! Gamzee put me down!” Karkat complained.

Gamzee did as asked. “Heh, sorry sis. I was just so motherfucking excited.”

Karkat rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Gamzee. What’s next for you, though?”

“Well, I gotta up and look after them, make sure they make it safely to their session. Then it’s time for me to work.” Gamzee admitted.

“Gamzee, that’ll take who knows how many sweeps.” Karkat pointed out, “It makes more sense to spam time travel to do the minimum you can get away with until they can look after themselves, set them up somewhere safe and remotely comfortable with access to everything they’ll need, then go forward to whenever the hell it is you need to clock in.”

Gamzee grinned at her. “See, this is why we were meant to be. I up and knew that I couldn’t stay the entire time, I didn’t rightly want to because it would be lonely growing up without my moirail and finding her still a teenager when we’re up and reunited, but things are so much motherfucking easier with you around to up and point shit out nice and clear to me.”

Karkat shook her head. “We all know you’re a bit of a dumbass but hey, I know you can handle yourself when you’ve got a handle on your temper. What exactly does he need you for during their session?”

“See, the game wasn’t up and made for one motherfucker to play by their lonesome but these two aren’t meant to play together.” Gamzee told her, “So it’s my job to be his motherfucking guide. I’m not rightly after that, I might be able to return to you but from what my invertebrother says I may be enlisted to watch the humans’ post scratch session if I’m not up and dismissed.”

“That... is actually a great idea. You can help the humans out; make sure any henchman Lord English might sneak into their session doesn’t fuck things up.” Karkat mused, but then narrowed her eyes at him, “Don’t let that make you think you’ve got it easy, though. I had fucking better hear from you regularly, a week is the minimum you’re allowed to leave between visits or messages.”

“It’s a motherfucking promise.” Gamzee reassured.

“By the way, Gamzee... What the fuck is with that atrocious fake godtier outfit?” Karkat asked.

“It’s kinda like a motherfucking uniform. I thought it was a decent motherfucking touch.” Gamzee claimed.

“... You are not wearing that when you’re not with him or I will fucking make Vriska’s antics look so wrigglerish that the drones will fucking commit mass suicide in envy stronger than the heat of a thousand suns combined with a thousand volcanoes, do you hear me?” Karkat threatened.

“Loud and motherfucking clear, moirail of mine.” Gamzee reassured, “What’s even motherfucking wrong with it?”

“You’re kidding, right? Whoever designed the pants for the bard godtier outfit must’ve been a fucking pervert. Pedophiles and other sickoes envy this mysterious person and take notes from them during schoolfeeds on how to be creepy assholes. He was the topic of the essay that won first prize in the fundraiser contest to ensure there would be future generations of perverts to make the universe a worse place.” Karkat raged, “Trust me when you meet these new humans it will be fucking awkward if you’re wearing that. At least bring a change of clothes so that you don’t get disgusting from wearing the same thing all the time.”

Gamzee laughed. “What, my codpiece? It’s weird but I don’t think it’s that motherfucking bad. I think I’m supposed to look like some kinda fish.”

“Yeah, no. The effect is totally lost. And that hood makes you look stupider than I bet anyone ever thought you could get.” Karkat retorted.

Gamzee practically giggled, happy that she was in a good enough mood to use the more complex metaphor insults she was known for than amused by her annoyance and discomfort. “All right, all right. You win best friend.”

And so Karkat spent the next human year completely alone and isolated. Or, so she had expected. As it turns out things never actually progressed with Dave and Terezi. They were still friends and hung out all of the time, and there was flirting. But Terezi distanced herself from him, and even without the kissmesisitude with Gamzee which she had attempted to corrupt or screw with her she totally spiraled over the edge. Eventually she either got the code for faygo or else found Gamzee’s stash. It was totally ridiculous, and the rush and eventual crash from the sugar effected Terezi like soporifics. With things calmed down and both of them being lonely - Dave due to he didn’t even have Rose so much now that she’d gotten herself addicted to that human soporific called alcohol- Dave and Karkat each got over their issues with each other and became the best of friends... better than Karkat had with Terezi, at least. She didn’t think Dave could possibly come to the point that he rated above Gamzee or Sollux. Karkat did try to be a good friend with Kanaya, be there to talk to and for support. She also did small things to help the rainbow drinker handle her matesprit’s antics, the alcohol made Rose pretty ridiculous and she seemed to forget how to use her head when she was drunk. As a romance expert and having heard a few things Dave let slip Karkat suspected that the date which got them together wound up messed up.

It was horrible to watch, like a... train wreck, Karkat supposed, if you wanted to keep terminology simple. Kanaya had to wrigglersit her own matesprit most of the time rather than enjoy the opportunity for what should have been a far healthier flushed relationship than Karkat suspected would’ve been the result had Vriska returned Kanaya’s former flush crush. Dave’s social interaction with the others consisted helping Kanaya take care of Rose and trying to be supportive of Terezi while she attempted to work out whatever issues were bothering her. But most days if he wasn’t in the mood to put up with face to face interaction with Karkat he isolated himself, preferring to stick with the Mayor in Can Town. Karkat couldn’t tell if the effect Mayor had on Dave’s emotions and state of mind was like a pale relationship- whether platonic or something that would have become a proper moirailleigance had they been trolls- but it was clearly very good for him. It was interesting to watch, Dave would cuddle Mayor in his lap like a plush toy even though the carapacian was bigger and it was really a sight to see the height difference decrease over the course of the journey.

For a while Karkat expected to become a wreck herself despite Gamzee keeping his promise to keep in contact and her newfound friendship with Dave. There was a period of time when that would have almost become true, though Karkat hoped she’d have still been able to hide her mental state and keep it together enough to be the strong one. Someone had to try to prepare for when they arrived. Training could only do so much when no one else was thinking ahead, but she still tried. But then... instead of driving Karkat nuts, the dream bubbles actually came through for her personally rather than just be handy in terms of the bigger goals. In the form of Sollux Captor, to be precise. A completely alive and re-blind Sollux due to a kid from the post scratch human session managing to prototype him; he said Aradia and Feferi claimed. Time shenanigans turned out to be very confusing when bubbles got involved because he said Feferi and Nepeta said they’d been prototyped too as a single sprite.

“Seriously? Damn that must have been one cheerful sprite. I can’t decide if it sounds adorable or annoying.” Karkat commented.

Sollux chuckled. “I can’t thay what the thprite was like becauthe itth not like I can thee or feel what he’th going through but I can thay that they never theparated after returning to the bubbleth. Itth really cute, they’ve adopted each otherth punth on top of their own.”

“You don’t say.” Karkat sort of wanted to see how much of it was true but she’d never admit it.

“If you show up in the bubbleth enough you’ll probably thee for yourthelf thomeday.” Sollux told her, “Tho... what about thingth on your end?”

Karkat winced. “God, I knew it would get awkward or annoying but it is such a worse clusterfuck than I ever imagined when this shitty journey started. I don’t even know where to start... or what metaphor I can think of is the most fitting.”

Sollux patted her back sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”

“Ugh, you have no idea. No matter how many times I’ve apologized or tried to repair our friendship things just aren’t the same with Terezi and she must have some seriously fucked up shit on her brain because she’d falling to more pieces than a stupidly complicated puzzle dumbasses working in toy companies think children can handle.” Karkat complained, “Kanaya and Rose finally stopped dancing around the subject of the flushed relationship that had clearly been brewing between them but Rose has gotten addicted to weird ass foul smelling drinks that make her have more trouble focusing and being coherent than Gamzee on sopor slime. Gamzee’s not even on the meteor anymore because subjuggulator bullshit means he’s got things he has to do and he keeps in contact but he can barely see me in person a couple times a human month. Fuck, craziest of all is that my best friend on that shitty rock is Dave fucking Strider. When he’s not being a total prick or deliberately screwing with people’s heads he’s just as much a dork as Joan.”

Safely hidden from notice behind his shades Sollux’s eyes widened, what he couldn’t hide was his frown. “Your... what?”

Karkat hadn’t noticed his distress. “I know, right? When we first discovered the humans and actually began paying attention to them nobody would’ve bet their boondollars on me ending up best friends with the self absorbed-seeming cool kid.”

“KK- no, Karkat... I... thought I was your best friend besides Gamzee.” Sollux pointed out, barely hiding that a part of him he barely understood felt hurt.

“Sollux I’ve spent over a sweep with almost no contact with you. Being separated so thoroughly from my wrigglerhood friend that even Trollian can’t keep us in contact does not help my personal bullshit or how fucking boring and lonesome that damn meteor can get. It’s five- now four- trolls, two humans, and a carapacian in close quarters on a meteor where there’s nothing to do. Of course weird shit happened; it doesn’t mean he’s even close to being a match for you as a friend.” Karkat retorted, and then she looked at him and finally noticed his expression, “Hold on a minute... It can’t be... Are you fucking jealous of Strider of all people?”

Sollux winced. “That’th... well...”

“Oh my fucking god, I think I’m right!” Karkat exploded at the revelation but this wasn’t the usual long winded rage she was known for, she was too angry to bother with unnecessarily long metaphors, “Where do you- why- What gives you the god damn right when you left and never bothered to come back or at least have the fucking common decency to stay in contact?! Being surrounded by people that were flush flirting and watching Terezi try and fail to snag Gamzee as a kissmesis is fucking awkward and disastrous and for the first sweep Dave was such a jackass and with how much Gamzee had to hide from Kanaya even he couldn’t be there for me as much as I needed or wanted and as far as more personal issues and drama goes I needed you more than ever but you weren’t there.”

It was all too much. For six sweeps, Sollux Captor had been one of the two trolls who were closer to Karkat than anyone. There’d been the could-be-headache-inducing but turned out to actually be really fun bitch offs they got into, the arguments that they’d never taken to heart or made up over quickly every single time. He had understood her in ways even Gamzee couldn’t because the clown could understand loneliness and see pass the asshole aspect of her exterior only Sollux knew what it was like to be considered or see yourself as a freak, to deal with issues that got so bad sometimes you struggled just to not hate yourself. They had even flirted. Then the game happened, and when he wasn’t busy with Feferi and her pale crush on him he was fretting over Aradia. He’d even died twice on her and even though he came back both times, he’d left her. Sollux promised to come back but he never even stayed in contact let alone kept his promise and Karkat had no indication that he still cared. The frustration, hurt, and anger welled up all at once and something that had only happened at his deaths in the seeps since she’d become too old a child to be considered a pupa- Karkat cried.

“Karkat wait, that’s not- what- why are you crying?!” Sollux flailed and fidgeted, trying desperately to think of something.

“Our whole fucking session you were so wrapped in Feferi and Aradia I couldn’t tell if you’d suddenly stopped caring about me or if it was my fault on the off chance I wasn’t being stupid and you had.” Karkat confessed, “You barely even talked to me on the fucking meteor after we had to hide from Jack. When you promised... I thought... but you... Damn it whatever the fuck was up you should have been straight with me!”

“Fuck! KK, I thwear if thith hath to do with your meththageth before we traded modus types I thwear I wath only freaked becauthe AA told me right before thhe knocked me out tho I couldn’t thop everyone from playing the game and I wath focuthed on keeping everyone alive.” Sollux explained, “And then I felt like I owed FF for making thure I didn’t thtay dead and thhe really needed thomeone thhe could count on to watch her back thince ED wath buthy getting over the breakup and killing thothe angelth. And AA kept avoiding me and I wath really worried thomething bad would happen if he realized she didn’t return hith feelingth at a bad time. And time workth way worthe in the bubbleth, I don’t think watcheth even work.”

“I already know most of that, shit stain! I don’t want excuses; I want to know why I’m not worth your fucking time anymore!” Karkat exclaimed.

“I’m trying to tell you that that’th not it!” Sollux protested, “Ugh I can be thuch an idiot I should’ve jutht been upfront with you from the thtart.”

Karkat looked up at him in confusion, blinking away the stray tears she hadn’t already wiped away with her sweater sleeve. “Upfront about what?”

“I’m thaying Calling Thtrider your betht friend botherth me becauthe even when Gamzee was conthidered I wath the only one you called your betht friend and I’ve had red feelingth for you for thweepth but I wath too much of a pupa to own up to my feelingth and admit it even though the fact you flirted back thuggethted that it would turn out well okay?!” Sollux finally admitted, voice loud in his overemotional state.

Karkat gaped at him.

“What- you- I could never tell if you were serious about that stuff you said or not!” she confessed, “And honestly when I was confident enough to believe it my blood kept me scared and then in our session I thought that if Gamzee was right that my reactions to Terezi’s sudden blatant flirting screwed things up. Even after you didn’t flip out over my blood color I never thought I had a chance, so I tried to deny how I felt...”

“Thank god you feel the same.” Sollux breathed, “Karkat Vantath, I’m about to hug you tho if that’th a problem you thhould thpeak up now.”

For once Karkat didn’t protest or make a sarcastic comment. “No, it’s okay.”

Holding each other felt better than either had imagined. “I pity you so strongly, KK. I hope I can make up what an athth I’ve been up to you.”

Karkat smiled, touching her forehead to his. “I pity you to Sollux.”

After that he visited her in every bubble the meteor came across by taking advantage of Aradia’s knowledge. He even pushed his technology and hacking skills to the absolute limit finding a way to finally be able to message her even though he wasn’t with her on the meteor. After some experimenting the pair found kisses beyond the chaste sort were awkward so they weren’t positive flush was the right shade of red sometimes but neither particularly minded. Taking things slowly until Gamzee was around for them to work things out was perfectly alright with them. And thus, thanks to Karkat’s other red quadrant and her new best friend her sanity and stability survived the final stretch of the meteor’s journey.

On Gamzee’s end, things started out much worse. For a few days Gamzee just went forward to various points in time to make sure the cherubs- Caliborn and Calliope, as they called themselves- had all the food they would need. It shouldn’t have been resolved so quickly but the integrity of the food they ate was less of an issue for cherubs. Gamzee watched as hints of a struggle that made pitch relationships look peaceful and amiable took place. (He wouldn’t get what little others knew of that story until much later.) Then when the cherubs were at an age that seemed somewhere between the age the two groups of beta players had been when they played and how old they would be when they arrived at the humans’ post scratch session. Once upon a time the moment when his time to help Caliborn came would’ve been a dream come true. The part of him devoted to his religion was still ecstatic over meeting one of those he’d grown up worshipping. But most of that same devotion- a part hard to ignore enough not to arouse suspicion to the plans he’d conjured with Karkat and Kurloz and thought that he should be able to be faithful without giving up the people and things he cherished, screamed at the thought of helping the being which was trying to destroy anything and was destroying bubbles at an alarmingly rapid pace so many Karkats must’ve met their final ends he couldn’t stand wouldn’t stand it but he had to endure for her because his Karkat was alive and well and it would stay that way he would make sure of it and he’d even killed poor, sweet Calliope she never deserved anything she went through outside of her friendship with the new players especially not the bullshit Caliborn put her through. But Gamzee never let his habitual grin slip nonetheless and the thought of his moirail let him endure when it turned out to be so much worse than he ever expected because Caliborn attacked him on sight pass the point that a human would’ve looked worse than road kill, riddled his fake godtier outfit and sometimes even his body full of bullet holes and average bullets that would have trouble harming a lowblood or not only his higher constitution and healing rate as a highblood kept him alive with the help of... whatever it was Kurloz referred to that made him- made Makaras- special. Nonetheless Gamzee guided as predetermined without his permission or input, and eventually whoever was talking Caliborn through whatever the device which replaced regular game constructs was called and talking the cherub through how to play a solo session convinced him to stop trying to kill Gamzee or at least let up enough to allow him to do as required to get Caliborn to the steps he wasn’t really needed for.

It was more of a relief when three planets and henchman in Caliborn deemed Gamzee as useless and dismissed than the clown had expected even when he’d had to drop Karkat back off at the meteor. Before he’d have followed Caliborn anyway due to a lack of anywhere else to go until ordered to leave. Instead he left for the humans’ post scratch session of his own accord anyway with his own agenda. If he’d been truly loyal to Lord English he’d have watched more than anything and done very little. Instead there was nothing but any negative reactions the humans might have to keep him from befriending and actively help. By a lucky chance the planet he chose to wait on was the one of the first player to enter the session. And the house that showed was that of the human Karkat and Vriska had focused most of their time on- Joan Egbert. Only the player wasn’t the post scratch universe’s version of Joan. It was a younger version of the old woman he prototyped as his sprite. Apparently in that universe the big change was a generation swap between the player and the humans whose DNA contributed to the ectobiology that created them.

“Heeeyyy sis. I see you’re all by your motherfucking self.” Gamzee greeted, “Would you up and like this here clown to help you out, be your motherfucking guide?”

“... Help me? Who and what are you exactly and why do you wish to help?” Jane asked, gaping at him.

‘Well shit. If she’s up and reacting like this to my motherfucking natural self and don’t got any knowledge about this shit maybe Karsis knew what she was talking about when she told me not to wear the motherfucking codpiece after all.’ Gamzee thought.

“My motherfucking name’s Gamzee Makara, chika, and I’m a troll.” Gamzee explained, “Me and my friends played this game our motherfucking selves and now we’re up and helping the humans from the previous version of your motherfucking session.”

The part of his introduction that made the biggest impression on Jane was not the part that he expected. “A... troll, you say? Like the alien woman Roxy calls the Batterwitch and has been telling me for years is the real face behind the baking corporation I was supposed to inherit? What did Dirk say her name was when he gave his own more coherent explanation... the Condescension?”

Gamzee sputtered, had he been drinking his faygo he’d have accidentally done a spit take. “Are you saying the Condesce- the motherfucking empress- is alive and motherfucking made her way to your version of Earth?!”

Startled, Jane took the clown more seriously. “You... didn’t know that? She’s been on Earth for at least a century, she adopted my Gramgram- my grandmother, I mean- and my friend’s grandmother.”

Gamzee blinked. “Grandmother? What the motherfuck are those?”

“The mother of one of your parents. In my case Gramgram was my father’s mother Joan Crocker but I’ve no idea if Jade English was the mother of Jake’s father or the mother of his mother.” Jane elaborated.

“Oooh, I up and forgot that humans up and raise their version of descendents like a lusus would.” Gamzee mused, “Jade and Joan, huh... would those other friends of yours have relatives what up and call themselves Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider?”

“How is it you had no idea about your own empress’ whereabouts but you know the names of my and my friends’ relations?” Jane asked.

Gamzee chuckled. “Because motherfucker in the other version of your universe and session what you up and have help coming from that bunch are the ones who play the motherfucking game.”

Jane was sure this stranger would come in handy however odd even suspicious he might appear, but the talk about family made her anxious to find her father. “I appreciate your help, I really do. But if you don’t mind excusing me, I need to try and find my father.”

Gamzee nodded understandingly, thinking of lonely hours spent sitting on the sand waiting for Goatdad and how despite Karkat’s curses whenever the old goatfish was brought up the attention the white creature had showed the rare occasions he had showed made all the waiting worth while despite how Goatdad had never stuck around to actually raise Gamzee once assured he could keep himself alive. “Oh, did your lusus up and disappear on you? I understand sis, up and go right ahead. Would you like some motherfucking help looking for him?”

“I’d very much like to talk more at a later time when the others can get the information you have too.” Jane assured, “And if I don’t have any luck I might take you up on that kind offer. But for now I think I’d like to explore this place while searching for my father alone.”

“Ain’t nothing motherfucking wrong with that, sis. I guess I’ll up and catch you later. But uh... before I go, I don’t believe I caught your motherfucking name.” Gamzee prompted.

“Oh my, how rude of me. My name is Jane Crocker, Mr. Makara. It’s very nice to meet you.” Jane introduced.

Gamzee snorted. “Cute name you all up and got, sis, but as far as I go Gamzee suits a motherfucker much better than up and being all formal like.”

Jane smiled wryly. “Well then, Gamzee it is. I’ll be off then.”

 

At first things were a little shaky. In a bid to test the waters after learning she was the Maid of Life Gamzee tried to sell his dead friends’ blood disguised as potions. Well aware that Karkat wouldn’t have been pleased, he dropped the subject and disposed of them after Jane refused and proved to be disturbed despite not knowing what the potions actually were. Then there were the sprites. One of these humans’ problems was that not one of them had prototyped anything either before or after. They weren’t even aware that it was a problem, or that it was preferable to prototype it twice. So using the heads the voices that aggravated his instability urged him to remove from his dead friends’ bodies, he did the work for them.

In the end he wound up with mixed results. He felt really bad about the first attempt he pulled with Jane. Since they’d been so close during their session and he was under the impression that they had been good friends before Vriska paralyzed him Gamzee prototyped both Tavros and Vriska for Jane’s sprite. Vriska being a blue blood and Jane not only having blue eyes but preferring a shade of blue that almost matched her eyes was his reasoning there. Tavrissprite, as they were dubbed during their short life, was a disaster by anyone’s standards. Tavros and Vriska didn’t mesh well at all as a single being. As it turned out their differing personalities, approaches to almost everything, and confidence levels clashed far too much and Tavrissprite barely existed for a few minutes before exploding. The next one, a boy a named Jake who would’ve looked even more like Joan than John did if not for being a different gender, wound up with a sprite nobody but the boy itself could decide if it counted as a success or a failure. On the one hand, Erisolsprite never exploded. But it might have been some form of self punishment. Sollux had always had self hate issues during his pessimistic moods from what Gamzee had managed to gather from Karkat during her rants about said yellow blooded psionic. And Eridan... well, Gamzee was sure that things he’d messaged during the others that Karkat said foreshadowed his meltdown were involved and probably the altercation that lead to his death but all he could tell for sure was that the self hate came from both sides and wasn’t simply their platonic hate for each other. Erisolsprite also seemed to hate Jake for being annoying, acting like he thought they/he existed solely as a toy for Jake’s amusement. But when they ignored their self hate they meshed surprisingly well. Gamzee guessed that was a wash. The other girl’s sprite Gamzee put more careful thought into. He could’ve reunited the ‘meowrail’ duo that way but even he thought that that was one sprite the world was better off never seeing. So instead, since both were cheerful girls and Roxy was a cheerful, outgoing girl herself Nepeta and Feferi combined to create the sweet, nautical and cat pun-loving delight that was Fefetasprite. Fefetasprite was an absolute success, she was almost closer to Roxy than Jane was and Jane found her delightful too. (A good thing, considering some drama with the boys meant Jane really needed to smile and laugh more.) The final human, Dirk Strider (a much more agreeable guy than Dave, in Gamzee’s opinion, if more standoffish and formal due to growing up without human contact or what other reason there might be for what his deal was) wound up with Equius as his sprite, and he could find Equius creepy and annoying but they both got along well enough if technology and robots were involved. When an AI programmed into shades dubbed Auto Responder by its blonde creator talked Dirk into prototyping it with Equiussprite the result was a very strange individual called Arquiussprite which if you could ignore the contradictions regarding swearing actually meshed amusingly (or shockingly) well. 

Gamzee, to his delight, found some pretty good friends in the girls once they got used to his presence enough to let him convince them that he was trustworthy. And Jane really needed the extra friend. She was very worried about her still missing father and there was drama regarding a love triangle with the boys. As it turned out for a few years Jane and Dirk had both had feelings for Jake. Right as they were preparing to start playing Sburb she screwed up her chance to confess, convinced Jake that she only saw him as a friend, and encouraged him to pursue a relationship with Dirk despite Jake apparently being equally open to dating either of them and being just as if not more interested in a ghost troll girl he’d met in the dream bubbles. When the four friends first met up together for the first time right when Dirk finished getting them all into the medium a three-way argument ensued. Jake was trying to defend having kissed Dirk’s severed head to revive him via his dream self, come onto Dirk because of his own self convincing regarding Dirk’s feelings plus AR’s flirtations and insinuations of Dirk’s feelings, (which Dirk himself seemed to have skirted around or at least never acted on or hinted at.) and mediate between Jane and Dirk. Dirk and Jane were both disgusted that Jake turned a simple revival kiss into a full make out with a severed head. At the same time Dirk either tried to skirt around the issue of any feelings he might have or play them off as more low key than AR, Jake, Roxy, and Jane assumed. Jane was scolding Dirk for recklessly driving his flying skateboard without even making sure he was on it, half asking half demanding that he explain the confusing events which had just occurred, and trying to argue her case that the two boys dating was a horrible idea when Jake seemed to have an equal interest or lack thereof in all of his potential romantic partners and begging them to at least take it slow if they insisted on trying anyway.

Gamzee found Jane’s situation with Dirk both confusing and sad. They had sounded very close before the game. But the drama with Jake had made Jane feel confused, angry, and awkward. Dirk seemed to try to keep his friendship with her going, but with variant success. It was apparently the way of the Striders to either make explanations difficult to understand enough to interpret or to give confusing answers that didn’t actually explain anything at all. And then when his initial attempts at explanations and reconciliation failed despite the newly sober Roxy’s encouragement in regards to working things out he mostly kept his distance from Jane when she started mostly giving him the silent treatment. Gamzee knew that wouldn’t do, so after watching for a few months to see if the pair was just being slow in reconciling he started encouraging Jane to at least try to keep up her friendship with Dirk.

“It won’t up and hurt nothing will it?” Gamzee pointed out, “It just seems a motherfucking shame to lose a miraculous friendship over a boy that don’t seem anywhere near as miraculous as you said you used to motherfucking think.”

Jane sighed and rested her chin on her knees. “I’m just really not sure, Gamzee. It’s really a downright shame but... it’s just not that simple. I don’t rightly know if I could ever navigate through this silly drama unless Dirk would just take enough of a break from his relationship with Jake to take the first step.”

“I won’t argue with that motherfucking logic, you got to be doing what your hemopump up and tells you.” Gamzee conceded, “I doubt they’ll motherfucking last, though. A couple of Karsis’ movies had couples like them and she always ranted about how they’d never motherfucking last. Sides, if that spider sis you said he’s interested in is anything like Vriska you and Dirkbro are probably both better of without that motherfucker.”

“What does that troll ghost Dirk and Jake mentioned have to do with anything?” Jane asked.

“Not a whole motherfucking lot if the motherfucker never shows again.” Gamzee allowed, “But Vrissis was real bad motherfucking news when there wasn’t a motherfucker to keep her grounded. Karsis always complained that if she didn’t manage to corrupt you she’d motherfucking bully or manipulate you into doing things her way. Scary as fuck too, Vrissis was. If you get too attached to a motherfucker that’s fallen under the spider sis’ motherfucking thrall you could be up and setting yourself to fall with him.”

Jane finally looked at Gamzee, shock and concern clear in her eyes. “That’s worrisome indeed. Gamzee... if... Aranea, I believe her name is... does turn out like this Vriska individual what sort of things should I watch out for?”

Gamzee shrugged. 

“Well, Vriska only seemed to be able to put humans to sleep but if a troll was low enough on the spectrum and weak willed enough she could control the motherfucker to do as she pleased.” Gamzee answered, “Before Sgrub she sent a motherfucker she cornered off of a cliff when he wouldn’t do anything and set off a cycle of revenge that came full circle during our session and she only motherfucking survived by going godtier.”

Jane let out a breath that came out as more of a huff. “Well you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”

“Awe don’t motherfucking worry, sis. You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll up and work it out.” Gamzee reassured.

From then on Jane made tentative attempts to keep her friendship with Dirk going. It was awkward, though, because they danced around the subject of Jake. Who made things worse and worse by constantly complaining to Jane about anything that was bothering him. He clearly had an inability to realize that just as too much physical contact and face to face interaction made him feel awkward due to growing up alone Dirk was so desperate and starved for affection because he’d also grown up alone with no human contact. Roxy was in the same boat as Dirk but unlike either boy she could balance it out because the carapacians who had raised her had managed to ease just enough of her loneliness for her to restrain herself. The worst drama of all proved to not only be the push needed to fix things between the four but led to Gamzee getting closer to Jane and marked the approach of important events finally happening to that session.

Jane spent the day before her birthday at Roxy’s house. With some help from Fefetasprite the two girls were preparing Jane’s birthday party. Roxy was hesitant to let her help but Jane insisted. She also would’ve wanted to do the baking anyway. Jane may have been angry and conflicted over the truth about the Betty Crocker Corporation but that didn’t change her fondness for baked goods and various other sweets. Then a pester from Jake completely ruined not just her day but her birthday plans. Not only had he forgotten, but the first time he’d talked to her in weeks was yet again solely to complain about his relationship with Dirk. When she’d finally had enough and blown up at him, the truth came out... only for Jake to take it the wrong way. He assumed that it was Dirk that she had feelings for and though he never directly stated it his voiced guilt implied that feelings were never a factor in why he entered a relationship with Dirk. Jane ended the conversation promptly and only kept from breaking her headset computer because she decided to pester Dirk. It was a close thing, though, and at the first crack she stashed it safely in her sylladex

GutsyGumshoe [GG] has begun bothering TimaeusTestified [TT]

GG: Dirk, don’t bother coming to Roxy’s house tomorrow unless it’s specifically to see her. I’m no longer in the mood for a party.

GG: You also need to rethink your taste in paramours. Mr. English is a right cad and though I’ve not been the best friend to you lately you deserve better. All he does when he’s not recounting his adventures with you is complain about your relationship. I also have doubts that he even has feelings for you. Did you know, he’s so oblivious that when I let slip the way I used to feel about him before all of this drama he assumed that I was saying it was you I’d been referring to? He said he’d have backed off and seems to have no regard for you as his significant other. Worst of all is the day we started playing he outright asked me if I felt that way, he didn’t show any clear preference for either of us as a romantic interest.

GG: This is utter nonsense, in my opinion. You’re wonderful despite my past standoffish behavior, and it would be horrible if it turned out the way he talks about your relationship is the way he treats it when you’re together. That was the reason I stopped being the one to contact him just as much as how sick I was of him doing nothing but whine and just be selfish in general. Goodness knows I can understand needing space. As he lost his grandmother at a young age surely it can be awkward being around other people even now. But he clearly doesn’t understand that you and Roxy are starved for attention and affection for that very same reason. Next time he gives you the silent treatment while you’re feeling lonely you just pester or visit me okay?

TT: Fuck, are you serious? Jane, do I need to talk to him about how he treats you?

TT: I knew we were both into him but I was never aware he was putting you through shit like this. I know I can be pushy but I had no clue that he was being such a douche to you.

GutsyGumshoe has been disconnected.

TT: Earth to Janey, are you still there?

TT: ...Fuck...

After taking her rage out on poor Roxy Jane apologized to both her and Fefetasprite and then absconded. Roxy’s table and the cake both fell victim to Jane’s fit, and after she’d calmed down later on she felt extremely guilty about the things she’d said to Jane and the mess. Soon after getting back to her planet Jane was jeered by Caliborn. He claimed her father was dead and insulted her, and in a fit of rage and tears she broke her father’s laptop and then ran the rest of the way back. When she retrieved her tiaratop, her only other computer, Jake’s attempt at reconciliation only annoyed her. Then a message from Calliope sent Jane crying all over again. When a voice appeared in her head and the usual computer screen was replaced by the word ‘obey’ repeating over and over again against a black background Jane threw down the tiaratop in disgust then went back to her crying fit. Suddenly arms were around her shoulders in an embrace meant to comfort her. The claws resting lightly on her shirt made it obvious that it was Gamzee. Too distraught to care Jane let her head fall onto the troll boy’s shoulder.

“Damn, sis, what got its harsh whimsy on bad enough to get you in such a motherfucking unmirthful state?” Gamzee asked.

Jane sniffed. “Oh I do apologize. First it was just Jake forgetting my birthday then being a right cad, and then when I warned Dirk I got even angrier at him when Dirk seemed more worried about me than himself. Then on my way back here Caliborn said such dreadful things, telling me my father is dead and insulting my weight. And just now I got a birthday message from Calliope... The poor sweet thing never deserved whatever dreadful thing Caliborn apparently did to her and I just... Everything just exploded at once. On the one hand I can’t remember ever being this sad but on the other hand I’m more furious than I’ve ever been at anyone besides the batterwitch.”

“Nah, it ain’t no thing.” Gamzee assured her, “It’s motherfucking unhealthy holding shit in. I’ve up and seen the motherfucking stress trying to act all normal gives a motherfucker. Like I keep telling Karsis, it’s fine to control how you react to what your hemo pump- her, I think I’ve heard you humans call it a heart- is up and telling you but you’ve gotta motherfucking let that shit out somehow.”

“You’re a real peach, you know that? I’ve barely known you half a year and you’re a far better friend than Jake has been lately.” Jane admitted with a small smile.

Gamzee opened his mouth, but whatever he would have said Jane would never know. She stretched a little in the process, and accidentally knocked the tiaratop into Gamzee’s leg. He looked down at it, and his eyes narrowed in on the odd H-like symbol.

“What the motherfuck is that?” Gamzee asked.

“The tiaratop? It’s a computer of sorts. A Betty Crocker product that hasn’t been let out to the public yet to be exact.” Jane explained, “I’ve had it for years-”

Jane never finished her explanation. Gamzee’s unusually focused gaze gained a fierce intensity at the first part. With a growl, he picked it up and crushed in. He didn’t stop until the circuitry was completely ruined.

“Gamzee!” Jane exclaimed, “Whatever did you do that for?”

“That thing has the symbol of the motherfucking Condesce.” Gamzee told her, “Now I may not be the smartest motherfucker but even I know the empress can be real motherfucking underhanded, and your yellow haired pals have told me about her history with the Earth. Back on Alternia and in our session of the game technology could do some motherfucking crazy shit but not all of it is the miraculous sort you dig?”

Jane blinked. “Well goodness gracious! If I understood you correctly I probably owe you a great deal of thanks. Roxy always did complain that my tiaratop was more dangerous for me than Jake’s skulltop is stupid.”

“No thanks needed, a sweet motherfucker like you doesn’t need the motherfucking Condesce’ blasphemous harsh whimsy.” Gamzee waved off, “Now what’s all this noise with your invertebrother you sounded like you up and had your flush on for when we met?”

Jane sighed.

“I... you know, I can’t even quite place when or how it all started. Jake’s always been a dashing fellow with an endearing sort of goofy charm. He always understood the things that confused Roxy and Dirk or got them teasing me.” she started, “The way he talked about adventure always made him seem like a heroic sort too, if he didn’t let on how he could barely beat Dirk’s Brobot on easy mode or how alarming he found the fauna that inhabited the island he lived on. If I had to hazard a guess, I suppose that his adventurous nature appealed to my own fondness for mysteries and other such things.”

“What did you ever do about it?” Gamzee asked.

Jane looked down in embarrassment. “... Nothing, really. I never felt the need to. Then the day we started playing this blasted game Roxy urged me to confess- I’d wager she had an idea of what was going on and wanted me to have a fighting chance. Imagine my surprise when Jake bluntly asked me if I had feelings for him. The sudden inquiry made me so flustered I lost my only chance by claiming my feelings were purely of a platonic nature, and then amidst my frustration I unwittingly wound up encouraging him to accept what he took to be Dirk making advances on him.”

Gamzee winced.

“I sorta up and know how that feels, sis. I was motherfucking flushed for an oblivious motherfucker myself. Never thought I was exactly motherfucking subtle and Karsis certainly always said that I probably up and didn’t even know how to be subtle.” he confessed, “But when I finally up and made a move the motherfucker acted all shocked and stuff. Never motherfucking acknowledged my feelings either, not even when that scary sis wouldn’t make it clear whether her advances were flush or pitch. I thought the motherfucker was one of my best friends and instead the moment I motherfucking try for more I wound up ignored. In the end I’ll never motherfucking know if things could’ve up and improved or gone back to the way they were cause the same girl motherfucking killed him.”

Jane frowned. “Well that was quite callous of them. It’s such a pity your friendship ended on such a confusing note. I’ve tried to keep things from falling apart with Dirk and I think he’s happy I’m trying not to let the fuss ruin our friendship but he seems to feel so awkward because he saw what Jake never did. And now given our last conversation and what he said when he asked me about my own feelings, I think Jake is leading the poor dear on.”

“What do you motherfucking mean?” Gamzee prompted, wanting her to clarify.  
“Well Jake rather seemed just as open to the idea of a relationship with me as he was with Dirk. The things he said give the impression that he’s open to a relationship with any interested party.” Jane told him, “Even just now, when he sent me into this awful mood- Jake doesn’t seem to care for Dirk romantically any more than he gave the impression of caring who he wound up dating.”

Gamzee snorted derisively. “Arrogant little motherfucker, ain’t he? Seems to me you dodged a motherfucking bullet there, sis. If Jake doesn’t change his motherfucking tune he doesn’t really sound like he’s a fit matesprit for anybody.”

Jane slumped until Gamzee’s torso was mostly what was holding her up. “Jake certainly makes a far better friend than a romantic prospect, and ever since we got here he’s even been fairly horrible in regards to friendship.”

“Could he be flushed for that pink kitty sis...? Roxy, did you motherfucking call her?” Gamzee suggested.

Jane hummed musingly. “Well if I’ve gotten the right impression of what you mean by flushed, I rather think it’s not likely... To be honest before all of this fuss and drama started he only ever expressed interest in blue women and alien women. Combined with his even stranger fondness for spiders it made him rather eccentric. He even raved on about this girl he met in what I’ve long since deduced to be a dream bubble a few times.”

Gamzee looked at Jane sharply. “Did he ever describe this sis?”

Jane put her hand on her chin as she recalled the conversation. “I believe he said she was an alien in a spidery blue dress. Let’s see... I believe she must have been a troll like you, really.”

Gamzee’s eyes narrowed. “You’d best motherfucking keep an eye on him, sis. That sounds like Vriska’s dancestor and if they’re anything alike she can’t be motherfucking trusted.”

“I’ll keep this in mind.” Jane assured him, “Gamzee... why do you go so far out of your way to be kind to me when you’ve barely said a whole sentence to any of the others?”

Gamzee tilted his head as he considered the question. “Well, you’re a cute motherfucker who really up and knows how to have a good time when you motherfucking cut loose. And I know you can motherfucking take care of yourself as well as your friends can but I’ve up and got this urge to protect your and I’ve got to up and do what my hemo pumps tells me. ‘Sides, you seemed lonely.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “Gamzee Makara, are you confessing to having a crush on me?”  
Gamzee scratched at his cheek and looked away, his white makeup tinted lavender by a blush that said makeup wasn’t quite strong enough to hide. “... Yeah. You won’t motherfucking freak or send me off, will you?”

Jane searched his expression. “Actually... I suppose I’m not quite as opposed to the idea as I would have assumed if such an idea had been presented to me before we came to be friends.”

Gamzee perked up at that and turned to look at her. “You motherfucking mean it?! ... Janesis, can I motherfucking kiss you?”

Jane blushed. “Yes, you can.”

Gamzee leaned down and his black lips met her pinkish ones, the moment they tried to intensify the kiss they pulled away at the same time. “Well shit, I guess this quadrant shit is more confusing than I motherfucking thought.”

“You’re confused? I’m sure I’ve been developing feelings for you so I’m not sure why kissing just seemed wrong.” Jane replied, “Wait... ‘quadrants’? What are quadrants and does it have to do with what Roxy and Dirk meant by troll romance appearing to be vastly different.”

“Shit, I forgot Karsis said humans only up and have one type of romance.” And thus proceeded an explanation which while awkward got the point across better than other trolls who’ve attempted to explain quadrants to humans have managed.

“Hm... Well, you don’t hate me at all or consider me a rival do you? Or feel a need to mediate between me and someone else?” Jane asked.

“No, I’m motherfucking sure I’ve got red rom in mind with you.” Gamzee said, “That’s why I’m so motherfucking confused, I’ve already got a moirail.”

Jane wished her fake moustache was on hand, this was the sort of moment where having one to stroke would come in handy. “Well, why don’t you tell me about this moirail of yours?”

“Well Karsis- that is, Karkat- is an angry little motherfucker, and she’s got the shortest fuse I’ve ever seen. Makes others mighty impatient with her but it always seemed to me that she just has too much passion, I ain’t ever seen another troll that bothered by a little motherfucking violence and blood.” Gamzee started, “The others teased her for her horns or liked to claim if she weren’t so loud she’d never get noticed but I always thought that how fiery she was made her all the motherfucking brighter and prettier until she outshone every troll I’ve ever up and seen. She cares more about others than a troll is up and supposed to, with my lusus a motherfucking no show I’d have probably up and died if she didn’t up and decide it was her job to look after this worthless motherfucker. She’s better at interpreting romance bullshit than anyone I motherfucking know, but at the same time she’s too scared to let anyone motherfucking close to her. She talked me down when I lost my shit.”

Jane didn’t comment or interrupt. “Mm hm.” 

“Shit, that’s probably not making much motherfucking sense when you’ve never up and met her is it?” Gamzee realized, “Karsis is my motherfucking best friend. So I try to listen when no one else will and protect her. Then when I was out of my mind with rage she calmed me down when any other motherfucker would’ve just up and culled me. We’ve been moirails ever since.”

Jane smiled knowingly. “Gamzee you certainly are a dear and I really do like you, but are you certain that this Karkat isn’t the girl you’re actually flushed for as you put it? Making what we have more pale than anything?”

Gamzee’s eyes widened. “Shit, that motherfucking makes sense. Karsis always did say I was kind of touchy for a moirail. Janesis, would you be my new motherfucking moirail once I’ve got this shit sorted out with her in person?”

Jane giggled. “Of course.”

That was when things started going horribly wrong. When she finally retrieved her headset computer after using a code to make a replacement laptop Dirk had been insisting she try, she was being pestered by Roxy. After apologizing to the blonde and ensuring that she would forgive Jane, a far more serious conversation than Jane ever expected to have before the other players arrived happened. Not only had the Condesce kidnapped Roxy only for her to escape within an hour but Roxy had found and talked to Calliope within the dream bubbles. There was a special way that the four of them could go godtier.

TG: So we clear on wht we have to do Janey?

GG: Yes, Roxy. I understand. What did the boys say?

TG: They’re both ingoring me. :-(

TG: *ignoring

GG: Well that’s rude of them if they noticed your messages.

GG: I shall try to deliver the message shortly.

TG: Tnx Janey ur the best. Ttyl.

Unfortunately things happened in a rather roundabout manner. Jane tried Calliope’s code and received a green lollipop. When she used the code Jake had tried to give her, it elicited a matching red lollipop that fused with the green one to make a red and green swirly lollipop. When she gave it a try... everything went nuts. It was like being drunk or high mixed with an out of body experience. Jane blasted off to Jake’s planet, being followed shortly by a very disturbed Gamzee who knew the signs of someone not within their proper state of mind better than most from experience. To her utter relief she didn’t do something stupid like confess or try to force him into a relationship. But she did complain about wanting him to be a better friend and to have fun together. After a bit of rather bizarre violence and a forceful hug that Jake found rather awkward they decided to get Roxy to join in for a party. At Roxy’s house, they were promptly turned down by Roxy who didn’t want anything to do with whatever was wrong with them. With a bit more violence Roxy was dragged in as well. After breaking into the alcohol Roxy had locked away their first day in the Game they were off to drag Dirk into their shenanigans. Roxy and Jane both wanted to marry him, Jake thought it was a swell idea and suggested a four way wedding to make it an even better party. Dirk refused and might even have escaped the chaos but was pressured by Roxy and his own sprite into giving in. Nothing but his hair and clothing changed, and in the end Dirk only wound up breaking up with Jake when Jane punched the gun slinger for hitting on Dirk when he didn’t even seem to have a preference between him, her, or ‘the spider girl’. Instead of blood or bruising the result was an explosion of candy. After making a horribly deformed Christmas tree, some items that were even more bizarre than the quartet currently were, and a trio of impressive if comical looking weapons the proceeded to have a party of sorts after all, though without the wedding which they decided to save for later. 

Luckily in the middle of the party they wound up heading to the catacombs of Prospit and Derse where they needed to go to make godtier then turned back to normal before anything any more awkward or embarrassing could happen. The four proceeded to pester each other, though only Roxy talked to Jake and Roxy was afraid to talk to Dirk because she was afraid he would be disappointed in her for breaking her sober streak. Dirk admitted to Jane that the truth was quite the opposite, he was proud of her for dealing with sobering up all on her own and how talented, compassionate, and thoughtful she was. Roxy helped Jake sort out all of the drama and confusion, also playing messenger because Dirk and Jane were both angry, out of sorts, and convinced an argument would break out. Dirk and Jane, however, finally sorted out. They both agreed that they had over romanticized Jake.

GG: Besides, with the state things were before that horrid... Trickster Mode... Gamzee has been a far better friend than Jake. It’s such a pity, before we both became absorbed in our crushes on him he was a wonderful friend.

TT: Yeah, I thought my issues were the only problem but after your last message before all the crazy shit that just happened...

GG: I suppose Jake’s just pretty much married to his desire for adventure, really. It’s all for the better though. We’d both be better off setting our sights elsewhere.

TT: What, are you saying you’re into Roxy or that clown troll now?

GG: I don’t mean I have anyone in mind, Dirk. And though Gamzee has things he needs to sort out we’ve determined that we’re more pale than anything resembling traditional human romance.

TT: The adoptive granddaughter of a clown-loving troll queen moirails with a clown troll who isn’t actually even on her side? Nice irony there, Janey.

TT: Look, I’ve got a confession to make. This drama that made things awkward between us is all AR’s or Hal or whatever he calls himself fault. I entertained ideas like his plan to help me woo Jake when I was thirteen but since I programmed him we both grew up differently, so to speak. Besides, I don’t think I’d have even ended up dating him if AR hadn’t interfered so much.

GG: So has Hal been lying to everyone, Dirk? Or are you trying to tell me something?

TT: My crush was still there it just wasn’t as strong as it was when we were thirteen, Jane. And I was starting to suspect that I was starting to fall for someone else. And after the cluster fuck of the last few months? The other person sounds like a much better option if it’s even possible.

GG: Would it be nosey of me to ask you who you could possibly mean? Roxy’s comments make it clear that straight and gay aren’t the only... persuasions... but I can’t possibly think of who you could be referring to since I didn’t think you knew any other men.

TT: Nah, I don’t mind. And as I tried to explain to Roxy in the past, I don’t really like labels. Growing up in a time where the only other human being around is someone you only see as something kind of like a sister isn’t exactly conductive to figuring out what your type is.

TT: But I guess there is sort of a pattern because Jane? I was talking about you. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet. I made Lil’ Seb because I’ve always been sort of a worrywart when it comes to you. And I’ve been distant recently because I felt so bad for being a factor in all of the stress that’s been eating at you.

GG: Dirk, I... I’m flattered. I really did mean it when I said that I wagered you’d be a better romantic prospect than Jake. After all the drama I think this isn’t really the time but once things calm down I would be open to giving it a shot.

TT: !!!

TT: Jane, thank you. I promise I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t regret giving me a chance.  
Then before any of the four could decide on how to proceed the moons they were on were destroyed by the Condesce and their session’s Jack Noir, who had replaced his eyes with color-changing pool balls. With that they ascended to godtier anyway in an unexpected manner. At the wreckage of Derse’s moon Roxy and Dirk came face to face with the Condesce. Where Prospit’s moon just was Jane and Jake were likewise greeted by Jack. Jane and Jake are saved from a fight by the premature arrival of Jade, who teleported to them when she sensed trouble and teleported Jack to the edge of the inciphisphere. But before she could talk to them beyond greeting Jake the Condesce took control of her. When she failed to get the tiaratop on Jane’s head because Gamzee had destroyed its remains. She tried to knock them out to get them to the Derse prison but when she tried doing it with force instead of her powers Jane punched her a mile away then dragged Jake off to his planet. Before she could give chase the Condesce had her go over to where she was to deal with Dirk, who was trying to fight her. Jade teleported him far into the inciphisphere like she had Jack. Jane and Jake hadn’t been on his planet long before they found a gigantic yellow ship. A little ways from it was a girl who looked something like Jane with hair as messy as Jake’s. Someone made familiar to Jane by picture in her father’s album...

“Gramgram?!” Jane exclaimed.

“Are you.... an alternate universe of my Nana?” Joan asked, “Whoa this is awesome! And you have those comfy godtier pajamas too! Would that make this guy Jade’s grandpa? Geez that godtier outfit is silly, it’s like someone sewed sleeves onto a girl’s swimsuit. But hey as long as they’re comfy who cares. Who even designs these things?”

Jake blinked, unsure of how to react. Jane only giggled. Then with a flash of green and flames from the meteor approaching the living trolls, Dave, and Rose arrived. Before either Jane or Jake could start a conversation Joan got distracted by a reunion with Dave and Rose and finally properly meeting the trolls. Introductions were promptly given all around, including Jane and Jake luckily.

“I do believe this is everyone exempting Gamzee.” Rose concluded.

“Fuck, wait a minute. Where the hell even is he? If he stuck to the plan he should be around here somewhere!” Karkat realized.

Jane blinked, realizing she could feel everyone’s life force. “Hold on a tic, I do believe that I might be able to figure that out.”

Karkat’s relief was obvious. “Well then can you please fucking do it?”

Jane’s eyes glowed green with the less direct use of her powers. “He was here while we were reaching godtier and being attacked. But something is off... Another troll just appeared there with him.”

“Do you think it could have been Sollux or Aradia?” Kanaya mused.

Jane thought it over. “I suppose that it’s possible but something just doesn’t seem right.”

Joan’s eyes widened. “The ring!”

Everyone looked to her. “What ring?”

Joan shrugged. “A year ago I found a ring in the bubbles. When I woke up the ring was still with me. I was in them again when we landed. Vriska told me that it might be a ring she’d heard of that brings people back to life for as long as they’re wearing it.”

“That... will actually be really fucking useful.” Karkat noted, “Looks like this step of the plan I made with Gamzee might have more credibility than I thought after all if whoever is with him doesn’t royally fuck things up.”

That was when the Yellow Yard, as Joan said the ship was called, approached them. A troll girl in a short black and blue dress the trolls present could tell was a skimpier version of the dress Vriska wore when her dice activated Mindfang Mode was at the front of the ship with Gamzee silent behind her in a manner eerily similar to when he would space out while on sopor. When it approached the group Aranea jumped down.

“What the fuck are you doing with Gamzee?!” Karkat demanded, “If you hurt him-”  
“Calm down little Vantas. I’m just controlling him, that’s all.” Aranea dismissed in a manner she seemingly expected to be calming, “You see I figured I’ve been in the background far too long so I enlisted his assistance.”

“Uumm, this won’t be like the messed up thing you and Vriska were doing with ghosts from doomed timelines is it? Because friend or not I just couldn’t stomach her sacrificing so many people so callously all for the sake of a treasure hunt.”

“Wait, this bitch helped Vriska do what?!” Karkat nearly screeched, “No! That shit will not fucking fly! He apparently got you what you fucking wanted so you let my quadrant mate go right fucking now.”

“All right, all right. Calm down. He’s too annoying to keep around anyway.” Aranea dismissed.

Gamzee blinked and looked around. “What the motherfuck am I doing on LOMAX? Last I remember I was watching some really crazy shit caused by a motherfucking magic lollipop.”

Karkat barreled into him, giving him what humans would call a bear hug. “Gamzee! I can’t even begin to express how much I fucking missed you!”  
“Whoa! When did you bunch motherfucking get here?” Gamzee blinked and looked down where her head was resting on his shoulder, “I motherfucking missed you something fierce too, Karsis.”

Karkat grinned. “Look, there’s no time for reunions. Vriska’s dancestor has fucking flipped her shit in such a fucking massive pirouette she not only won the gold but broke a fucking universal record. Gymnasts everywhere weep hysterically in jealousy at the level of this shit, half the world is wiped out in a flood of human biblical proportions. You know that talk we had about your wriggler sitting stint? Aranea’s wearing a ring that can bring people back to life. If we want a chance against that massive green asshole we need that ring to give to Calliope or at least to find a doomed godtier version of her. I may be a blood player whatever the fuck that means but with all the shit going down here I’m pretty fucking sure that time is of the essence.”

Aranea looked at them. “What?”

Karkat rolled her eyes. 

“This shitty clown here’s church decided before he was even hatched that raising the two halves of the cherub that would become Lord English and setting the stage for the dead session that would cause everything.” Karkat revealed, “Before he ditched the meteor he let me in on the secret so he wouldn’t have to break up with me when he left. I pointed out that if there’s really more than one messiah, he’s perfectly within his right to follow the cute half instead of the half that becomes a giant asshole hell-bent on destroying everything. Kurloz, as the one who told Gamzee what the creepy possessed puppet didn’t, is perfectly aware of this last ditch effort to fucking survive. Why the hell did you think he bothered to keep Kankri and the fuckboy that is your Ampora away from me when I couldn’t abscond on my own?”

Aranea blinked, and then when the information set in her eyes widened comically. “Wait... so the key to my cherub clan.... was the Makaras?!”

Joan studied Aranea from a safe distance. “Wait a second, aren’t you the teenage alternate version of Vriska’s ancestor Mindfang? Weren’t you the one that the fish troll who kept killing my dream bubble self what was her name... Meenah seemed really close to? What are you doing? It’s not like the stuff Vriska told me she while she was still alive she felt funny about regretting because it was normal on Alternia is it?”

Terezi looked at Joan, her mouth falling open in shock. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, she said that she felt stupid for it but she felt kind of guilty for the stuff she said it took to survive on Alternia. But in the dream bubbles she seemed really angry and upset at my reaction to her method for getting to the treasure that was supposed to be a weapon against Lord English...” Joan admitted.

“She got her hands on some kind of ultimate weapon?!” Karkat exclaimed incredulously.

Erm, I’m not sure... it would’ve been kind of hard to carry around. When I touched it my entire arm went through it like it was some kind of portal.” Joan said, rubbing the back of her neck self consciously.

Aranea sighed. “All right already, I’ve heard enough. Look, I’m keeping the ring. But I’ll put Gamzee to sleep so that he can contact the cherub.”

“Wait! The four of us from this session... We’re friends with Calliope.” Jane interrupted, “Whoever goes traipsing off after dear sweet Callie should take Roxy with them... if we can find her.”

Before they could plan further, a still-being-controlled Jade found them. Everyone else wound up separated while Joan found that she’d ended up with special teleportation powers. During the chaos Joan was doing her best to keep away from Jade- and getting Roxy out of the Derse prison while she was at it. Karkat, meanwhile, was on the Land of Frost and Frogs with Kanaya stressing out and trying very hard to stay somewhat calm. She was also driving Kanaya nuts in her desperation to get back to Gamzee, who wound up in the general vicinity of what used to be LOFAF’s volcano. One by one the others gathered there too. Aranea stopped Jade when she showed up, but was barely kept from killing her. 

Karkat wasn’t too sure of what happened after that. The Jack from the humans’ pre scratch session and a Prospitian with the exact same power ups showed up. Rose, Joan, and Dave barely talk them into keeping Jade safe and asleep, and promising not to let her cause more trouble if she awoke or cause more trouble themselves. Then the Condesce showed up and a showdown with Aranea ensued, though Aranea barely managed to hold her own. Nobody seemed sure what the trick she’d pulled with Jake did but it seemed to be helping the Condesce not kill anyone. The few deaths that did happen were godtier, and so ridiculous they managed not to count as just or heroic. Then Aranea lost the ring and Joan barely managed to keep it from the Condesce. Using the tentative control she was gaining over her teleportation powers Joan got the ring to Roxy as promised. Just before getting blasted back into the dream bubbles Aranea managed to get Roxy and Gamzee asleep as planned.

Right when the situation looked desperate things finally turned around. Roxy had returned... with Calliope. A godtier doomed Calliope and Jade’s dream self were off to deal with either Lord English or Caliborn while Gamzee and Kurloz were rallying the ghostly residents of the dream bubbles- even a few instances of Damara, two of which were doomed godtier versions- as the army Karkat had mentioned Meenah wanted. At the same time Dirk returned. The fight went much better with the reinforcements. Then, thanks to the strange way time worked in the dream bubbles Gamzee woke up to help at the last minute. Seeing the state Karkat was in, he went into a rage equaled only by the one that enabled him to vastly damage the Black King from their session. Gamzee hadn’t come from the bubbles alone and together with Sollux, Aradia, Rose, and Kanaya he dealt the killing blow.

In the aftermath, everyone alive gathered on the victory platform. As they recuperated and looked after each others injuries Jade woke up. As Jade and Rose caught up the post scratch humans had a reunion with Calliope. For a few minutes Karkat and Gamzee watched Sollux and Aradia catch up with Terezi and Kanaya. Then they finally looked toward each other. Karkat took the time to look Gamzee over as he fussed over her injuries from the fight with the Condesce.

“So... It’s nice to see that you sort of took care of yourself while we were apart.” Karkat half mumbled.

Gamzee smiled softly at her. “Karkat... we need to have a motherfucking chat, my wicked sister.”

“What about? Do you need an impromptu jam?” she asked.

“Nah. Sort of, but not motherfucking quite.” Gamzee dismissed, “This is might motherfucking hard to up and get out... Let’s see, remember when you learned about Goatdad, and you made me look at sites to make up for the things he should’ve motherfucking taught me but barely mentioned?”

Karkat snorted. “Yeah, when I asked you how you’d even functioned before then you gave some of your usual bullshit about the kind of miracles I would always dismiss as science or luck.”

“Well it ain’t any motherfucking secret that there are some things that I never did up and get my understanding on for.” Gamzee pointed out, “Recently I figure that quadrants must be one of those motherfucking things. I barely understood the schoolfeed on them, and what I know about how they motherfucking work I got from listening to you and our other friends or from movies.”

“Hm, if that’s what it is then considering all of the drama I can understand. It would certainly explain your talk about having a flush crush on Tavros when he never gave you the time of day romantically and the way you never actually seemed interested in having a concupiscent quadrant with him.” Karkat mused.

Gamzee huffed. “I’m sure I had some sort of red feelings for the motherfucker but I guess I must have vacillated at some point or got over him during the journey. Anyway... it’s nice that you’ve up and got your understand on but none of this was my motherfucking point.”

Karkat put a hand on his shoulder. “Well then get the hell on with it. What is it Gamzee? You know you can tell me anything. I think the bullshit with the cherubs fucking proved that.”

Gamzee breathed deeply. “Karkat I know I’m not the best of motherfuckers and I’m sure as fuck not deserving. But I’ve finally up and realized that pale just isn’t the shade of red that up and matches my feelings. Would you be my motherfucking matesprit?”

Karkat flat out grinned, perhaps the first time such an expression had happened around others. “I’m glad we’re on the same fucking page for once, Gamzee. I know I pity you but I’ve gotten closer to Sollux again since the last time we’ve seen each other in person and we already figured out that we were getting which red quadrant we belonged in mixed up. I’m so fucking flushed for you, Gamzee, and I think I always have been.”

Gamzee grinned wider than ever. He took hold of Karkat just below her armpits, lifted her, and swung her around laughing. When he finally let her down he didn’t let her go. Instead he gave her a moment to set herself straight and then pulled her against him in an embrace.

“Motherfucking miracles.” he breathed, leaning down slightly to cover her lips with his own in their first kiss.

In the background Dave, Sollux, and Roxy wolf whistled and Jane, Terezi, and Aradia giggled. Karkat flipped them off before bringing her hand around to grip Gamzee’s shoulder to stay grounded. Gamzee, however, didn’t pay them any mind. He didn’t care if their friends decided to be obnoxious and it was a part of a moirail’s job to tease their pale quadrant about such things when they weren’t helping said person sort out their feelings or keep them self together anyway. Besides, Karkat would be angry enough for the both of them when the jokes started after they could be bothered to pay attention to anyone besides each other. For now he just wanted to revel in the moment and being reunited after far, far too long of either being separated or having far too little contact.

End of Story


End file.
